The Difference Between Passive Voice and Passive Verbs

By Lois Winston

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I began writing fiction nearly thirty years ago. Over the years, I’ve attended dozens of writing conferences, both in the romance genre and the mystery genre. Most of what I learned was invaluable toward advancing my writing career. However, occasionally I’d come across inaccurate information. Such is the case with passive voice and passive verbs.

Once upon a time, somewhere during some talk or on some panel, someone emphatically stated that authors should NEVER use any form of the verb “to be.” That misinformed person said using “was,” along with its brothers and sisters (is, am, are, were, been,) was passive voice and a surefire way to receive a rejection from agents and editors. Like a bad rumor, this piece of writing advice flew from writer to writer, taking on a life of its own, until it became gospel. 

I’d like to set the record straight. There’s a huge difference between passive verbs and passive voice.

Passive voice is when an action is acted upon the subject, rather than the subject acting. The car was driven by Anna is a passive sentence. Anna drove the car is an active sentence. However, Anna was happy to drive the car is not a passive sentence. Anna is expressing emotion. She is acting, rather than being acted upon. Of course, there are more interesting ways to write the sentence to show Anna’s emotions, but that’s a separate discussion.

One of the easiest ways to tell whether your sentence is active or passive is to analyze the position of the subject, verb, and direct object. In active voice, the subject (the one performing the action) will come before the verb (the action), and the verb will come before the direct object (that which is being acted upon.)

There are instances, though, when passive voice is necessary to the unfolding of a story or better suited to the realism of the dialogue. When we speak, we don’t first think whether our sentences are active or passive before uttering them. We just speak them. The same is true when writing dialogue. Manipulate a sentence to avoid passive voice in a conversation between characters, and you often transform snappy dialogue into stilted dialogue. 

For example: Billy ran into the house and cried, “Mom! Come quick. Snoopy was hit by a car!”  This passage accurately illustrates the way a child might respond to a car hitting his dog. Snoopy was hit by a car is a passive sentence because Snoopy is being acted upon by the car, but the child mentions Snoopy first because the dog’s welfare is uppermost in his mind. Also, by placing the last sentence in passive voice, the author is ratcheting up the tension. We don’t know until the very end exactly what hit Snoopy. A stray baseball? A nasty neighbor? A falling tree limb? Although A car hit Snoopy, is active voice, using it lessens the impact of the sentence.

Still squeamish about the use of “was”? After you finish your manuscript, do a search of the word. Check each sentence to see if you can rewrite it to avoid using “was.” If you can, and it doesn’t detract from the pacing, dialogue, or meaning of the passage, do so. If not, leave it. Some “was” are meant to be.

EXCEPT in the subjunctive.

The what, you ask? Subjunctive case or mood is one of the most misunderstood rules in the English language because it runs counter to subject/verb agreement. In other words, if a subject is singular, the verb must also be singular. But not in the subjunctive.

The subjunctive applies to cases of “wishfulness” or “what if” situations. In these cases, “was” becomes “were,” as in, I wish I were taller. “Were” is also used when a sentence or clause uses “if,” “as if,” or “as though,” but only in instances where the statement is contrary to fact. 

Examples include: 
If I were taller, I could see the stage better.
Her twelve-year-old son acts as if he were in kindergarten. 
The maid behaved as though she were queen. 

Because I cannot grow taller, the twelve-year-old is not in kindergarten, and the maid is not a queen, all the statements are contrary to fact, and “was” becomes “were” even though the subjects are all singular.

Keep in mind, though, that the key statement here is “contrary to fact.” “If” statements that are not contrary to fact retain the singular form of the verb. If I was at the store that day, I don’t remember is a correct sentence because the statement is not contrary to fact whether I can recall the event or not. 

So don’t be afraid to use “was” and “were” in your writing but be sure to use them correctly.

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USA Today and Amazon bestselling and award-winning author Lois Winston writes mystery, romance, romantic suspense, chick lit, women’s fiction, children’s chapter books, and nonfiction. Kirkus Reviews dubbed her critically acclaimed Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series, “North Jersey’s more mature answer to Stephanie Plum.” In addition, Lois is a former literary agent and an award-winning craft and needlework designer who often draws much of her source material for both her characters and plots from her experiences in the crafts industry. Her most recent release is Sorry, Knot Sorry, the thirteenth book in her Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery Series. Learn more about Lois and her books at her website www.loiswinston.com where you can also sign up for her newsletter and follow her on various social media sites.

Character as a Haunted House

By Aimee Hardy

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Establishing engaging and relatable characters is one of the most important parts of storytelling. Characters should have compelling backstories, relatable flaws, and fulfilling character arcs, but one of the best tools that I’ve learned about creating characters is to think of them like a haunted house. 

Each house has a facade that everyone sees. This is usually the most complimentary view of the house. Passersby can admire the paint, the sweeping porch, and the manicured lawn. Everything is usually neat and tidy, and all its secrets are safely locked away inside. Even haunted houses look best from the outside. 

Similarly, everyone sees certain aspects of a character. This is the image they present to society. It’s the suit jacket worn for status, the combat boots worn for protection, the high heels worn for seduction. It’s the gruff voice to establish dominance or the motherly coo to show nurturing, the helping hand they give when on the train or the kind words said at the gas station. These are the outward images that we must establish from the very beginning because they show how the character would like to be seen from the outside. 

Friends are allowed access inside the house, however. Acquaintances are invited in and can see the common rooms. Those rooms are still cultivated, yet they are a little more intimate. As acquaintances become friends or loved ones, they are invited further inside the house. They see the dishes that have been piled in the sink, the laundry that is overflowing, or the tub that is in need of a good scrub. In a haunted house, we can see the evidence of ghosts. We can hear strange footsteps, feel cold spots, and see apparitions, but we can’t quite determine what is haunting the house. 

Just as with houses, our characters will reveal more intimate details about themselves (and their own ghosts) as they make bonds with other characters and as we (the reader) get to know them in the story. We can see that they are kind by the way they treat their loved ones but that it hurts when no one says thank you. We can see that they are jealous of an adversary, but we can also see that it’s because they were never given the same opportunities to be great. We can see that they are smart but that they are terrified of losing their top spot. They become nuanced–both kind and resentful, jealous and righteous, smart and insecure. 

Then, there are rooms in this haunted house that are so scary that the main character would not dare to enter. These rooms contain the worst secrets that will not leave us alone, and with characters, these rooms contain their deepest fears. The kind and resentful mother might fear that she isn’t worthy of being loved. The jealous and righteous bully might be afraid of being weak or controlled by others. The smart but insecure scientist might fear they are useless. The main character is haunted by these fears and can’t move on until they confront their ghosts. 

So, when I write stories, I always ask what is haunting my main character. If they are worried that they have no identity, maybe they fill their “rooms” with collections. They might appear to know a lot of things in their search for their identity and might even adopt different identities as they interact with different characters. On the outside, they might overcompensate by wearing elaborate costumes or may even be so insecure that they only wear black. However you design your character, keep in mind that their house is haunted, and that in the end, their ghosts will have to come out. 

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Aimee Hardy is a writer and editor in Birmingham, AL. She is the author of Pocket Full of Teeth (September 2024 Running Wild Press). She has been published in Stonecoast Review, Running Wild Press’ Short Story Anthology, Havik2020, Bluntly Lit Mag, Adelaide Literary Magazine, and Lost Pilots Lit and was nominated for the Pushcart Prize in 2020. She has a B.A. and M.A. in English from National University. When she’s not writing or editing, she enjoys going on hikes with her husband and two kids or curling up with a good book and a hot cup of tea. For more of Aimee’s work, please visit www.aimeehardy.com.

Editors- You DO Need Them

By Dale T. Phillips

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Editors are essential to improving your work and aiding your success. Most writers are blind to the faults in their own writing, despite being sharp about discovering them in every other printed work. I’m no exception, and though I’m paid to evaluate and edit other manuscripts, I still pay another good editor to help make my manuscripts better. However, when I send my manuscript to my editor, I’ve done a great deal of cleanup beforehand, to give her less work to do. Note that some editors charge by the page, which is a crap system. Something that needs a lot of cleanup takes far more time than a very clean page, so go for editors who work hourly, to save yourself money. And get honest ones- my editor thought the latter half of a novel needed rewriting, so sent it back for revisions before spending hours editing something that would be significantly changed. 

There are different types of editors and editing, and disagreement about which is which, as some of these terms are variable. Some combine more than one of these in their inclusive editing. Know up front what you’re getting and paying for.

• Manuscript evaluation/appraisal— This high-level check is for the essential quality of your manuscript. Does it work as a book? Does it have commercial viability? Does it have the elements it needs for publication, or are there major problems which must be corrected first?

• Developmental or Story editing— This is a check that the structural story works as it is, or may need chapters/characters moved around, added/deleted, or simply further detail in certain areas. Completed story arcs?

• Line editing— This check is for content and flow, things like consistency of voice, point-of-view, tone, and clarity, and slack writing which may sag or need some punching up.

• Copy editing— This type drills down to the precision bits on a word-for-word basis, usually working to a style type or sheet. Different copyeditors work using different standards, though, so make sure you agree with yours. 

• Proofreading— Checking for any and every error, in text, layout, numbering, placement, etc.

• Fact checking— If you have a manuscript with a lot of facts in it, you may need one of these editors for verification of the information you’ve included.

Because most Indie writers don’t have a lot of surplus income, they blanch when told they MUST have a good editor for their work, before it goes out to the buying public. Since good editing runs $50 or more per hour, they despair at not having hundreds of dollars to make their work better. Especially when they hear that there are different levels of editing, and the work might need more than one editing pass. Ouch! When you’re talking about a thousand dollars or more for each book, that’s real money to most writers.

And if the writer is expecting an editor to wear all those hats and correct all the errors in a manuscript in one pass, and to do it cheaply, well, that’s like looking for unicorns. So the money-impaired writer is tempted to skip the process altogether, or to assume a publisher (if they go that route) will take care of that. Skipping (or even skimping) on editing is a bad business decision that will adversely affect a writing career. As a reader, when I encounter a poorly-edited book, I seldom read that author again. If their story wasn’t even worth an editing pass, then it’s not worth wasting my time to read it, or anything else by them. So what’s a poor writer to do?

It’s never too early to start your search for a good editor, to get them lined up for when you’ve got a work ready for their red pen. Know what type of editing you’ll be getting for the money and get some samples up front. Many writers got burned paying for poor levels of edits they didn’t want or need. You’ll need to do some careful research for this one, to find someone you’re comfortable working with, who can be trusted to work in a timely fashion, and who provides quality for the price. You can start an editing fund right away, even if it’s a few bucks a week. Forego the pricey coffee, young hipster, and bank those four dollars so your work will be better. Your stories are worth it, aren’t they?

Here are some ways to get your manuscript in shape BEFORE you send it to the editor. The less work the well-paid editor does, the less you pay. You’ll see that each method described here will do some of the work of different editors. It’ll catch a lot of simple stuff, but it’s extra work that takes an editor more time to point out and mark up.

• Study about feedback, using beta readers, writing groups, and workshops. Get advance feedback for your work through the methods described there. Story edits for flaws can cause massive rewrites, driving up the cost of your editing, and taking a lot of extra time. When your story passes muster with all your free feedback sources, then send it on to a pro.

• Our brains play tricks when scanning text, gliding over mistakes, so copy the text into a different type of file, and change the font, and the size, and print it out. You’ll catch a lot of things you didn’t see before.

• Get a helper, someone to listen, and read through your work- slowly. Do this in stages, so you don’t overdo it. Mistakes will sound like dull clunks in many cases. You’ll wince when hearing some of the stuff you wrote that looked okay on paper. Mark it all and fix that stuff!

• Some people recommend reading it backwards. If that floats your boat, go for it. Haven’t tried that one yet.

Check with the editor in advance when you know you’ll soon have a manuscript for them. They might be busy for weeks with the work of someone else, and you don’t want to have your manuscript sitting around. Once you’ve put in all the free feedback, and had other eyes on the text, NOW you’re ready for a proven, paid set of eyes for your work. You’ll swear up and down your manuscript is perfect, but you’ll be shocked to discover what you missed when you get it back. 

On the path to success, quality is necessary to establish a trusted “brand”- with clean, well-told stories, your audience will grow. Having a lot of mistakes in your manuscript will get you dinged in reviews, and may convince some to not buy or read it. Lay the groundwork for a long-term writing career you can be proud of.

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Dale T. Phillips has published novels, story collections, non-fiction, and over 80 short stories. Stephen King was Dale's college writing teacher, and since then, Dale has found time to appear on stage, television, radio, in an independent feature film, and compete on Jeopardy (losing in a spectacular fashion). He's a member of the Mystery Writers of America and the Sisters in Crime. 

www.daletphillips.com