“The Forgotten”
By Kevin Hopson
“Drink up, darlin’,” Grandpa said.
He was a tall man with thinning blond hair and a white beard, and he sported a red flannel shirt beneath his overalls.
I sat at the kitchen table, cringing at the glass in front of me.
“Come on.” Grandpa eyed me from the counter. “You’ve been drinking this tea for months. I know you don’t care for it, but are you really going to fight me on it each and every day?”
I grasped the glass and put it to my mouth. Then I took a small sip, forcing myself to choke it down.
“Just because I’ve been drinking it for months,” I said, “doesn’t mean it gets any easier.”
“But it’s helping, ain’t it?”
I shrugged. “Sometimes.”
“Well, sometimes is better than never. You haven’t had an outburst at school since I started giving it to you, so I’d call that a win.”
I shook my head. “Maybe for you.”
Grandpa grinned. “You’re as stubborn as your mother was.”
He glanced at the clock on the wall. “Anyway, I got some work to do. When I get back, that glass better be empty. And it better not be because you dumped it in the sink.”
“Fine.”
“You promise?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Have a good day at school.” Grandpa kissed me on the head and pushed his way through the screen door.
I got up from the table and headed toward the sink, hoping to dump the remainder of the tea before anyone saw me.
“Don’t even think about it, Sadie,” a voice said from behind.
When I turned around, my cousin Josh stared back at me. His auburn hair matched the freckles on his face.
“You know you need to drink that,” he said.
“But I don’t want to.”
“It’s for your own good.”
“Yeah,” I said, returning to the table. “You and Grandpa keep telling me that.”
I took a seat, and Josh plopped down in a chair across from me. He grabbed a banana from the bowl in the middle of the table and started to peel it.
“How come you don’t have to drink it?” I asked.
“Because I’m not the one with anger issues,” Josh said with a mouthful of banana. He swallowed. “It’s a special plant, and Grandpa grows it just for you. To help calm you. And, if you ask me, it’s been working.”
“But I didn’t ask you.”
Josh chuckled. “I love you little cuz. There’s no beating around the bush with you.” He took another bite of the banana. “Anyway, it could be worse.”
I rested my elbows on the table and leaned forward. “I doubt it.”
“At least he mixes the plant leaves into the tea. Just be glad you don’t have to take it on its own. It’s awful.”
“You’ve had it before?”
Josh nodded. “Just once. But never again.”
I hesitated. Then I raised the glass to my mouth and tilted my head back, drinking the rest of the tea in one swig, the sour taste forcing me to clench my teeth.
“See,” Josh said. “Easy Peasy. Now you don’t have to worry about drinking another glass of tea until dinner time.”
“Don’t remind me.”
Josh chewed the last of his banana. “Look. I know things have been hard since both our parents died. And even more so for you. With Paige going missing and all. I know she was your best friend.”
Our parents had died in a terrible car accident. The four of them were vacationing together when their vehicle was struck head on by a big rig. And Josh and I had lived with Grandpa ever since.
When I moved to Hampden and was old enough for kindergarten, Paige was the only kid in school I managed to make friends with. I became attached to her, much like a puppy to its new owner. We became close over the years. When she disappeared, my world turned upside down. I started to lash out at my teachers and classmates, and I’d never felt like an outsider more than I did then.
Thankfully, Josh and I attended the same middle school. He was in eighth grade and a couple of years older than me, so he was like a big brother.
“Come on,” Josh said, getting to his feet. “We’re going to miss the bus if we don’t hurry.”
#
Josh and I sat together near the back of the bus. Several rows in front of us was Courtney, a fellow sixth-grader who I absolutely despised. She was surrounded by friends, all of them giggling and glancing back at me. There never seemed to be a shortage of bullies and prima donnas in the world. And, trust me, I would know.
“Just ignore them,” Josh whispered.
Easier said than done. I wanted to strangle Courtney. And her brat pack, too. But I would have been content clocking Courtney and leaving it at that.
I hated to admit it, but Courtney resembled Paige with her long, black hair and sky-blue eyes. But that’s where the similarities ended. Personality wise, the two of them couldn’t have been more different.
“Take a deep breath,” Josh said.
Grandpa always told me that. And Josh had to remind me when Grandpa wasn’t around.
I nodded and inhaled, allowing all of the negative energy to leave my body as I let out a breath. Learning to calm myself, along with the tea, definitely helped. It wasn’t foolproof, but it stopped me from being the overly-impulsive girl I used to be.
I peered through the window, watching as the bare winter trees and sporadic buildings whizzed by. It was a much-needed distraction, and the bus pulled up to the school a few minutes later. I remained seated while the majority of the kids stood and funneled out of the bus. Josh and I were two of the last to get off, which was fine by me. The more distance I put between me and Courtney, the better.
English class was the next major hurdle. It was later in the day, thankfully, and the only class that Courtney and I shared together. Just like the bus, I preferred to sit in the back, while Courtney was seated near the front of the class. She always had to be the center of attention.
Courtney occasionally looked over her shoulder at me, an exaggerated grin stretching across her face each time. The nerve of her. She didn’t even try to play it off. It was obvious what she was doing, but I suppose that was the whole point of it.
I didn’t need Grandpa or Josh to remind me this time. I took a deep breath and focused on the teacher instead. But as much I tried to avoid Courtney, I couldn’t help but envision doing bad things to her.
In fact, ever since Paige went missing, I found myself having visions of Courtney. They would pop up at strange times, too. I would be completely focused on something else, yet they somehow seeped into my consciousness.
Maybe it was a sign that I’d become obsessed with Courtney. But no more obsessed than she seemed to be with me. In the end, I escaped English class unscathed and only had to worry about the bus ride home.
I always felt safe sitting with Josh. Not because I couldn’t protect myself. But because Josh kept me in check. I knew I would bring far more harm to Courtney than she could ever dish out to me.
And there it was. Again. Courtney and her lame followers snickering as they looked my way. By this time of the day, the effects of the tea had long worn off, so I opened my mouth to shout my disgust at them.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. A gentle but supportive hand. It was Josh. And he could sense my displeasure. I huffed and pursed my lips.
Courtney’s street was the next one on our route. When the bus finally came to a stop, Courtney got to her feet, glanced at me, then whispered something. I couldn’t make out the words, but I read her lips well enough. Bye bitch.
Josh’s hand hadn’t left my shoulder, and it was a good thing. He squeezed my shoulder even tighter, holding me back. I fumed as Courtney and a few others got off the bus.
The doors closed, and we were on our way again. But the next stop wasn’t far from Courtney’s house, so the bus trudged along, slowing only a few seconds later.
I felt the weight of Josh’s hand fade, and I took advantage of the opportunity. I immediately stood and walked toward the front of the bus as it came to a halt.
“Sadie,” Josh said. “What are you doing? This isn’t our stop.”
But I ignored him. I stormed off the bus, the brisk air outside not enough to cool my temper. As I walked alongside the bus, heading in the direction of Courtney’s house, Josh peered through the window with his mouth agape. I expected him to come after me, so I was surprised when he didn’t.
With no one to stop me, there was only one thing that surpassed the anger coursing through me. And that was the fear of what I was about to do.
#
I watched from afar as Grandpa stood over Grandma’s grave. She died before I was born, so I never had the chance to meet her. But I felt like I knew her after hearing Grandpa’s stories over the years.
He’d buried her along the edge of the sprawling backyard, near the tree line. In our state, it was perfectly legal to bury family members on the property we owned, as long as certain requirements were met and the burial didn’t break any local zoning laws. Since we lived in a more rural area where land was abundant, the process was much easier than if we lived in the city.
In any event, I often found Grandpa in that particular spot of the backyard. I guess when you spend most of your life with a person, you never stop thinking about them, even long after death.
“Sadie.” The voice came from behind, causing me to flinch.
I spun around to find Josh standing there.
“Where have you been?” he asked.
I didn’t feel like talking, so all I offered was a weak shrug.
“Courtney’s mom was here. She seemed pretty upset. What did you do?”
I walked toward the house, but Josh stepped in front of me, blocking the way.
“I need to know,” he said.
“If Courtney’s mom was here, why don’t you ask Grandpa?”
“Because I’m asking you.”
I shook my head. “I don’t feel like talking about it.”
“Well, too bad.” Josh exhaled. “Look. I can’t protect you if you’re not honest with me.”
“I don’t need your protection,” I barked.
Josh still wouldn’t budge, so I crossed my arms and glared at him.
“Fine,” I finally said. “I’ll tell you what I did. Nothing.”
“I find that hard to believe. Courtney’s mom wouldn’t have come here if that was the case.”
“I threatened Courtney, but I didn’t touch her. She should be thankful.”
“What did you say to her?”
A breath escaped my lips. “I told her I would hurt her if she ever called me a bitch again.”
Josh shook his head. “You can’t be doing that, Sadie.”
“And why not? She deserves it.”
“I agree. She does. But you have to learn to control your anger.”
“By drinking that crappy tea? No thanks. I’m done with it.”
I stomped past Josh, only to feel a hand grip my wrist.
“Let go,” I said through clenched teeth as I turned to face him again.
“Only if you listen to me,” Josh replied.
I huffed and stood my ground, Josh eventually released his grip.
“I can’t believe I’m about to tell you this,” Josh said, “but I don’t know what else to do. It was Grandpa’s idea, and I was against it from the start.”
My brow furrowed. “What are you talking about?”
“There’s no easy way to say this.”
“Just tell me.”
Josh swallowed and glimpsed at the ground. “Paige is dead.”
“What?” My heart fluttered, and I immediately felt a lump in my throat. “Why would you say something like that?”
“Because it’s true. I’m sorry. It’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth.”
I took several deep breaths, trying to compose myself. “How could you possibly know that?” I quivered.
He pursed his lips.
“How?” I shouted.
“Because she was with you when it happened.”
I shook my head in disbelief, a tear descending my face. “No. That can’t be.”
Josh glanced over his shoulder, eyeing Grandpa in the distance. Content, he met my gaze again. “That tea you drink.”
“What about it?”
“It really does calm you. But the stuff he puts in it does something else.”
“What?”
“It blocks out some of your memories.”
“You’re lying,” I said. “I remember things just fine.”
“I’m telling the truth. Look, it doesn’t block out all of your memories. Just the really bad ones.”
And then it hit me. I couldn’t muster the words at first, but I eventually spit them out. “You mean memories of Paige?”
He offered a weak nod.
“No.” I shook my head vigorously, refusing to accept Josh’s claim. “There’s no way.”
“I know it’s hard to believe. Trust me. I wish it wasn’t true. But I’ve been keeping this secret for months, and it’s been killing me. I wouldn’t lie to you about it. Especially now.”
“How?” I stuttered.
“What?”
“How did she die?”
Josh hesitated. “The two of you were in the woods together. Paige told you that her family was moving away, and you turned angry. You didn’t mean to hurt her, but you knocked Paige down, and she hit her head against a tree stump. When you ran home to tell Grandpa, you were hysterical. Grandpa and I headed out to the woods in search of her and, when we found her, she was dead. That’s when Grandpa came up with a plan.
“Paige’s parents didn’t know the two of you were together that day,” Josh continued. “And Grandpa couldn’t take the risk that you would say something, so that’s when he started forcing that tea on you. You had vague memories of the event at first, but that quickly faded after a few days.”
Then I remembered something. The visions I was having of Courtney. What if it wasn’t Courtney in them? What if it was Paige? And maybe they weren’t visions after all. Maybe they were memories trickling back.
Oh my God.
But one thing still didn’t make sense.
“If Paige is dead,” I stammered, “why do her parents think she’s missing?”
“Because to them, she is. Grandpa carried Paige over his shoulder and brought her back to our house.”
My eyes bulged. “What?”
“He buried her next to Grandma. He said no one would ever look for her there.”
My pulse accelerated, and my breathing turned shallow. I was on the brink of hyperventilating.
Josh rested a hand on my shoulder, attempting to calm me, but his touch could only do so much.
“Why would Grandpa do this?” I asked.
“Isn’t it obvious?”
I didn’t answer.
“He’s trying to protect you,” Josh said. “When Grandma died, it was hard on him. But he still had his children. And us.”
My mother and Josh’s mother were Grandpa’s daughters, and he treated our fathers like sons of his own.
“So, imagine how lonely he was when our parents died,” Josh said. “We’re all that he has now.”
As much as I wanted to lash out at Grandpa for what he’d done, I could understand his loss and the pain he’d lived with ever since.
“Crap,” Josh said. “Grandpa’s coming.”
I wiped a tear from my cheek and looked over Josh’s shoulder, watching as Grandpa gradually approached.
“Promise me you won’t say anything,” Josh pleaded, keeping his voice just above a whisper.
“I promise, but what am I supposed to do? You want me to keep drinking that tea knowing what it does to me now?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe we can play it by ear. If he’s not around, you can dump it, and I’ll tell him you drank it.”
“Everything okay over here?” Grandpa inquired, sidling up to us.
“Yeah, Grandpa,” Josh answered.
Grandpa eyed me, and it took all of my strength not to look away.
“Josh said Courtney’s mom stopped by,” I said.
Grandpa nodded.
“I’m sorry for what happened.”
“I’m glad you’re sorry for your actions,” Grandpa said. “And I’m glad you didn’t bring any physical harm to Courtney. But threats aren’t the way to resolve your problems. We’re going to have a little talk when you come inside.”
“Yes, Grandpa,” I mumbled.
Grandpa walked around the side of the house, disappearing from view. I glimpsed the nearby garden, and a thought came to me. What if I burned his “Amnesia” crop?
I debated for a minute, and Josh stared at me out of curiosity. As I’d learned already, rash decisions tended to bite me in the butt, so it was something I needed to give careful thought to.
I trekked toward the front of the house, and Josh followed on my heels. I figured it was best to get Grandpa’s talk over with. Then I could focus on other things. Like planning my next move.
#
Grandpa died seven years later. It was the summer after my eighteenth birthday. I had just graduated high school, and Josh was a rising junior in college. Grandpa left the house to both of us, so Josh and I made it our home.
In an ideal world, Grandpa would have been buried with Grandma. However, since Paige was laid to rest right next to her, digging there posed too much of a risk.
Since I’d kept my word to Josh and never told Grandpa that I knew about Paige’s death, Grandpa had to justify his decision to be buried elsewhere. Otherwise, I might look suspicious.
“I’ll be reunited with your grandma in the next life,” Grandpa had told me at one point. “So it don’t matter where I’m buried. But I wouldn’t mind if my final resting place was at the local cemetery alongside my brother and parents.”
I missed Grandpa, but the thought of him warmed me. I peered through the kitchen window, admiring the garden. The “Amnesia” crop, as I liked to call it, continued to thrive. And I still drank it in my tea twice a day. It didn’t erase what Josh had told me that ill-fated day, but at least it saved me from reliving those final moments with Paige.
I struggle with the guilt each and every day, well aware of what I did to Paige and the secret I still keep from her parents. In fact, I think that’s the worst pain of all. Paige’s death was an accident, one that will forever haunt me, but not being able to offer her parents closure is the real torture.
They never did move away. Holding out hope that their daughter was still alive, they stayed in town, afraid to move on. And I’m the reason for that. I see Paige’s parents from time to time, but I try to avoid them whenever possible.
Thankfully, I no longer have to worry about Courtney. I put up with her antics throughout middle school and was relieved when she was shipped off to a nearby private school at the age of fourteen. Once Courtney was gone, her friends’ interest in me waned. Most of them found new cliques and paid me no mind.
After Grandpa passed, I thought long and hard about what to do. With him gone, did Josh and I still need to burden ourselves with this secret? I could admit that it was all my doing, take full responsibility for Paige’s death, and claim that Grandpa knew nothing about it.
But would people actually believe me? And even if they did, where would that leave Josh? He would likely be implicated in all of it.
As much as Grandpa was protecting me, Josh and I were also protecting him. Coming clean would only tarnish the family, Grandpa included.
And that’s what it came down to. Family. I only had Josh now, and the two of us had been through enough to last a lifetime. Grandpa wouldn’t have wanted his actions to be in vain. He chose to take this secret to the grave, and so would I.
-END-
Kevin’s work has appeared in a variety of anthologies, magazines, and e-zines, and he enjoys writing in multiple genres.
