you’re not alone
By Bobby Taylor
what do you do
at the holidays
with those broken
pieces of yourself
do you just
avoid them
for fear of
clouding up
the occasions
do you expose them
and allow your truth
to sit like a
cold mound of
mashed potatoes
sit there congealed
solid
not wanting to
be warmed up
not suitable
for consumption
no one wants
a sniveling idiot
fouling up the air
shooting down the stars
covering the sun
with clouds of despair
on holy days
but what to do
if you’re on a journey
for truth
and you’re threatened
by a festive spirit
that tries to shove you out
of your resolve
you want to
stay longer
with your sadness
let it keep
you company
because you’re at a place
where honesty
means so much
and grief is
the only emotion
that is real
the only thing
you can feel
it isn’t for the timid
this force
weighing you down
and telling you
to sequester
yourself in your room
until the black wing
blocking the light
passes
and you can feel
a trickle
as your frozen notions
begin to thaw
oh yes
there will come a day
when joy
finds your face
when you stand
a little straighter
and speak
with more music
in your voice
maybe in april
when sprouts of green
remind you
that out of bleakness
of winter
life
restorative
regenerative
rejoicing life
commands
a presence
whispers
and then screams
for attention
your poems
become sweeter
and there’s not
so much need
to fill pages
and pages
of notebooks
with lament
for who you were
before you lost
your psychological
virginity
to a madness
to an insidious memory
that wakes up
every year
at this time
the smell of evergreen
makes you nauseous
and the smiles
coming at you
are like daggers
tearing at the monster
that has taken over
your mind
i wish
i had the answer
that i didn’t
brace every time
the jingle bells rattle
like metal bones
of dead emotions
when the sentimental
race for giddiness
and joy is flooding
the streets
the rooftops
and the Christmas trees
flashing out
what some would call
capitalistic folly
and then there’s
the baby
the promise
of redemption
that feels
so far
away
i wish i knew
the answer
brave soul
who is starting to
feel it again
i wish i had
magic words to say
but i don’t
the only comfort
i can offer
is that
you’re not alone
you’re
not
alone
Bobby Taylor is a poet, actor, and Grammy nominated songwriter from Middle Tennessee. His poetry can be found in literary magazines such as Semicolon 3.1, Erasure, and Sixfold. His hit songs include “Hillbilly Shoes” (Montgomery Gentry) and “A Man Holdin’ on To a Woman Lettin’ Go” (Ty Herndon). His song “I Just Come Here for The Music,” featuring Don Williams and Alison Krauss, was nominated for a Grammy. As an actor, Bobby has performed on stages across the country including The Lamb’s Theatre in New York City, the Ryman Auditorium, and the world-famous Grand Ol’ Opry. He holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Naropa University.
