KN Magazine: Articles
The Mystery of Creativity
Imagine: Sherlock Holmes smoking his iconic pipe. Wonder Woman wielding a golden lasso. Glow-in-the-dark lightsabers clashing during an epic battle for the future of the Empire.
Have you ever wondered how authors come up with those types of larger-than-life characters? How we work in the jaw-dropping plot twists and design stories that keep your head spinning? Or are you curious about learning tips to utilize in your own creative endeavors?
I’m here to share my secrets with you, gentle crime aficionado. I’ll pull back the curtain in the hope that you’ll use these techniques to make the world a better place. We’ll all win.
My background is in tech. The very definition of left-brained work. I got a degree in computers from Purdue University and several decades later climbed the ladder high enough to become an IT executive for a well-known Silicon Valley firm. My world was spreadsheets, PowerPoint slides, and meetings. Oh, the meetings...talking on the phone while answering emails from my manager while simultaneously dealing with four instant messages. Argh! PTSD flashback!
I digress. The point is that’s a left-brained world. I wanted to be a thriller writer. Right-brained inspiration required. But how do I get the creative juices flowing?
I began my novel writing journey with an outline—the left brain’s answer to plotting. But as I added layer after layer, I found plot twists and character traits coming to mind at the oddest times. I’d be on a walk with the dogs, and an idea would come to me. I’m sure the neighbors thought me strange as I jotted down ideas in my BlackBerry while the German Shepherds pulled me down the street by their leashes. Or I’d take a hot shower, and that pesky plot problem would magically resolve itself. After toweling off, I’d take notes for later. The same thing would happen during yoga class, when meditating, or when I first woke up in the morning. Eventually, I realized my right brain, my subconscious, was adding its fingerprint to the story.
Once I realized when my muse liked to contribute, I started to use those times as windows of opportunity. Before I went for a walk, I’d mentally pack a chapter that I was writing in my backpack. When I stepped in the shower, a thorny plot twist would rest next to the soap bottle. The two halves of my brain work differently, and I learned to schedule writing time at a point in the day when I’m not answering emails, updating my website, or doing other heavy-lifting type thinking tasks.
I also studied brain wave patterns to find out how our minds work. In simple terms, we can all move from a problem-solving beta-brain-wave pattern to a right-brained alpha/theta creative pattern by visualizing and deepening our breath. That made sense to me, as walking, showering, meditating, and sleeping all involved physical activities that inspired my creative self.
After completing the first two books in the five-time award-winning VanOps thriller series: The Lost Power (2019) and Solstice Shadows (2020), and then writing an award-winning standalone called Cleopatra’s Vendetta (2022) I’ve figured out how my creative process works. There’s a dance between my logical brain and my creative side. I just have to set up the dance floor, turn on the music, and let the two sides tango.
Avanti Centrae is a former Silicon Valley IT executive turned #1 international bestselling thriller author. Her multi-award-winning novels blend intrigue, history, science, and mystery into pulse-pounding action thrillers. Download the first six chapters of her edge-of-your-seat VanOps series at www.avanticentrae.com.
The Real Professor Moriarty
By Bradley Harper
Professor Moriarty
Batman has the Joker, Superman battles Lex Luthor, and Sherlock Holmes faced Professor Moriarty. A hero is often defined by their nemesis, the villain who is their equal in every way and who, given one or two different choices in their life, could have been the hero.
During a transatlantic crossing, Arthur Conan Doyle fell into conversation with William Pinkerton and first heard of the real “Napoleon of Crime,” Adam Worth, though he bore many names during his life. Worth was a German American who fought briefly for the Union Army during the Civil War, faked his death during the second Battle of Bull Run, and for the remainder of the war enlisted in one regiment after another, pocketing the enlistment bonus of $1,000, then deserting to enlist into another regiment.
Once the war ended, he initially turned to pickpocketing and became quite accomplished. Not lacking in ambition, however, he soon branched out to bank robbery and became so successful he began planning and bankrolling the robberies himself. After breaking into a Boston bank from an adjoining shop, however (which calls to mind the plot of The Red-Headed League), and stealing cash and securities valued at $200,000, he fled to England with the Pinkertons in hot pursuit.
Adam Worth
Worth adopted the name Henry J. Raymond, settled in London, and lived a lavish lifestyle which included running a string of racehorses and sailing in his steam yacht. His home became the meeting place of the leading thieves of America and Europe and a clearing house, or “receiver,” for most of the big robberies in Europe. In the latter 70s, and all during the 80s, one major theft followed another that implicated Adam Worth, but his involvement could never be proven.
Worth’s greatest crime was the theft of Thomas Gainsborough's painting of Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire, painted in the mid-1780s. It had been stolen before, but resurfaced in the 1830s and, after passing through various owners, was purchased in 1876 for 10,000 guineas by art dealer William Agnew. Agnew put it on display in his gallery, from where Worth and his henchmen stole it on the night of Thursday, the 25th of May 1876.
Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire
When Worth saw the painting, he fell in love with it and decided to use it to bail an associate out of jail. He intended to either sell the portrait or use it to force the owners of the gallery from which it had been stolen to pay the bail for his colleague.
But the prisoner was released before Worth had a chance to contact the gallery, and Worth was left holding a portrait too well known to sell and that he wanted to keep for himself anyway. At the time, nobody knew who had taken the picture, though rumors pointed the finger at Worth. In 1892, he was arrested in Belgium for a botched robbery and sentenced to seven years hard labor. While in prison, he was approached with offers of freedom if he would return the Gainsborough, but he always denied any knowledge of the painting.
In 1899 after being released from prison, broken in health and penniless, Worth contacted William Pinkerton, agreeing to meet with him in America to discuss the disposition of the portrait, and ultimately it was returned for $25,000. When the picture was put up for sale in London shortly thereafter, J. P. Morgan purchased it for $150,000. In 1994 it was purchased by the llth Duke of Devonshire and Georgiana now resides "at home" in the Chatsworth House collection.
After his return to England, Worth lived a quiet life with his two children until his death in 1902. Unlike Holmes' Moriarty, Worth was completely opposed to violence. William Pinkerton described Worth in a posthumous pamphlet (Adam Worth, alias ‘Little Adam’, 1904)
In all his criminal career, and all the various crimes he committed, ... he was always proud of the fact that he never committed a robbery where the use of firearms had to be resorted to, nor had he ever escaped, or attempted to escape from custody by force or jeopardizing the life of an official, claiming that a man with brains had no right to carry firearms, that there was always a way, and a better way, by the quick exercise of the brain.
Whether Worth was the model for Moriarty, it is clear that he was, like Doyle's creation, a master criminal sitting at the center of a web of crime in London. Unlike Moriarty, he spent time in prison and was loyal to friends. As Pinkerton comments in his pamphlet, "this man was the most remarkable criminal of them all."
Bradley Harper is a retired US Army Colonel and pathologist who has performed over two-hundred autopsies and some twenty forensic death investigations. A life-long fan of Sherlock Holmes, he did intensive research for his debut novel, A Knife in the Fog, which involved a young Doctor Conan Doyle in the hunt for Jack the Ripper, including a trip to London’s East End with noted Jack the Ripper historian Richard Jones. Harper’s first novel was published in October 2018 and was a finalist for a 2019 Edgar Award by the Mystery Writers of America for Best First Novel by an American Author and is a Recommended Read by the Arthur Conan Doyle Estate.
Knife went on to win Killer Nashville’s 2019 Silver Falchion as Best Mystery. The audio book, narrated by former Royal Shakespearean actor Matthew Lloyd Davies, won Audiofile Magazine’s 2019 Earphone award for Best Mystery and Suspense. The book is also available in Japan via Hayakawa Publishing.
His second novel, Queen’s Gambit, involving a fictional assassination attempt on Queen Victoria, Won Killer Nashville’s 2020 Silver Falchion Award twice, once for Best Suspense, and again as Book of the Year.
Show Don’t Tell
By James Glass
What Does “Show, Don’t Tell” Mean?
Good writing tends to draw an image in the reader’s mind instead of just telling the reader what to think or believe.
Here’s a sentence that tells:
Mr. Jeffries was a fat, ungrateful old man.
That gets the information across, but it’s boring. Most writers who tell tend to lose, rather than gain readers.
Here’s a way to create an image of Mr. Jeffries in the reader’s mind:
Mr. Jeffries heaved himself out of the chair. As his feet spread under his apple-like frame, his arthritic knees popped and cracked in objection. Jeffries pounded the floor with his cane while cursing that dreadful girl who was late again with his coffee.
In the second example, I didn’t tell you Mr. Jeffries is fat. I showed you. I also didn’t tell you he was old, but showed you by mentioning his arthritic knees, his cane, and that he has a girl who tends to him. You probably guessed by now that he’s not a nice man.
One of the most hideous examples of telling rather than showing is the “As you know, Mr. Jeffries,” dialog. This is when one character tells another something they both know. It’s almost as hideous when an author painstakingly uses dialog and action to convey something the characters all know.
However, like most rules of thumb, “Show don’t tell” is excellent advice most of the time, but writers can apply it too broadly, or in situations where it hurts more than it helps. You must be aware of the spirit, as well as the letter, of this particular law. New writers tend to lecture their readers. It’s never a good idea to bludgeon your readers with information. Or they may try to explain through dialogue. The key is to find the right mix between showing and telling. You don’t want to bore your reader. Pick up one of your favorite authors’ books and see how they capture your attention in the pages. Reading is one of the most effective leaning tools for a writer.
If you find your writing feeling flat, take a step back and imagine the scene yourself. What sounds do you hear? What smells are in the air? What expression does your character have on his face? What are his motivations? Once you dig deeper into your own imagination, see if you can make your writing better by adding a few specifics. This will transport the readers to the scene you have in your mind.
So, let’s make today a good writing day. Whether one sentence, one paragraph or one chapter. It’s all progress. Make today a good writing day.
James Glass achieved the rank of Command Master Chief before retiring after 22 years in the United States Navy. After retiring from the Navy, he exchanged his rifle for a pen. He and his family moved back to Florida. James is also the president of the Panhandle Writers Group. He’s published five novels, one novella, and two (you solve the crime) chapter books.
Punctuation Is Power - Part 4: Finding your style: Free your mind and readers will follow
Ernest Hemingway wrote a novel you may have heard of called The Old Man and the Sea. It is described as a brilliant short novel, but before editors got hold of it, it was neither brilliant nor short. In fact, it meandered here and there. What a mess. It took an editor to find the story and chop out the crap, after which Ernest could finish it to become the brilliant, short novel we all know and love.
Part 3 of my series ended with the recommendation of getting an editor who was not in love with a particular style manual and forcing your story into a predetermined mold that may not fit. Hemingway was well served by just such editors. This column is about finding a style and training readers to it.
Many new writers, not having a technique or approach of their own, attempt to copy the writing style of an author they love. For writers endeavoring to learn the foundational elements of storytelling, pacing, power, scene setting, and so forth, there is nothing wrong with that. Like a musician practicing scales of chords and note patterns of famous works and then learning to vary those themes with his own flavor, a writer must can emulate the masters until that deeper understanding of interplay comes.
Delve into your heart of hearts and answer this question: Why do you write?
For myself, that answer is: Because I can’t not. Words are my thing and have been since I began learning to talk. Semper fidelis—always in the service of words.
Still, the question can lead to a huge list of follow-ups we don’t have time to cover here. King Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 12:12: “To the making of many books there is no end, and much devotion to them is wearisome to the flesh.” And this is a business that demands attention and can weary a soul.
That being said, it is important to know your own reason. There are no right or wrong answers to the question. But if you find you are wanting to write in order to sell your work for a large, anonymous crowd of readers—that is, you want to sell it in the retail marketplace and be in the business of book sales you will want to bring the best version of your work to that arena and make it stand out from other books also vying for readers’ attentions.
A book may feel like a baby, but it is a product. So, how can you find your own voice and train a reader to like it, understand it, want more of it?
Finding your own voice is a mysterious process. It cannot be taught, but it can happen. Training a reader is easy. Once you’ve found your voice, now you refine it on the page. Once you’ve got the story pretty close to finished, the hard work of checking the flow begins.
Then and only then you will question the use of every punctuation mark you’ve put in. You may find a long, run-on sentence that is convoluted and meanders down paths no one can find, yet each part seems important. You must now decide if it needs to be broken up into fragments and whole sentences of varying lengths, or something else entirely.
What I like to do is copy that one sentence (or graph) and paste it twice into a blank document. The first I will leave as my reference to the original. The second I then play with. Break here, here, and here? Comma there? Colon or semicolon? Then I paste the original sentence in for a third time and play again using both the original and the new edits as reference. Comparing how the meaning and pacing has changed, I change the order of the words, use a thesaurus, maybe work in some alliteration, and look for clichés and repetitions.
After about the third time of doing this, an Aha! moment may arise and you’ll see that maybe the original was perfectly fine, but that the problem was the graphs leading up to it. You rework those portions and bingo, bango, bungo, you got some words worth keeping.
That’s just one method. However, at this time something seemingly magical will happen. You will begin to find your voice. Like the musician practicing his scales, chord progressions, and inversions, and thus seeing all the variety he can produce, you won’t be afraid of words any longer because the words will know you are treating them as equals and respecting the power they bring to your tale by punctuating with powerful effect and affect.
Now, once you start punctuating to tell you story your way, make sure you follow that same style throughout the book, and guess what? By about the end of the second chapter, the reader will learn to follow along, simply and naturally enjoying the story.
Punctuation should never get in the way of a tale. Those marks are the workhorses that make the story look good, but they never take center stage away from the star, your story.
The Magnificent 7: Universal Story Plots and the Twelve Archetypes
By Martha Reed
I was asked by a curious fan how I built my stories. Not where my story ideas came from, but about their actual construction, their underlying, underpinning architecture. Writers already know how to use the basic three-act structure, but are there other options in our writerly toolbox that we should be using to lure our readers in?
The answer is ‘yes.’ Human beings have certain story expectations bred into our bone marrow. Developed in pre-written history, seven universal plots and 12 archetypes have successfully survived into our modern era, crossing multiple cultural divides. That’s not to say writers should rigidly follow a static and unwavering formula or create stale and hackneyed characters. Those would instantly turn an avid reader off. But do the following inherited plots and archetypes still have something to offer?
First, let’s look at definitions:
The basic story question is: “What happens next?”
Plot happens next. It’s the sequence of events inside the story.
An archetype is a story element like an idea, a symbol, pattern, emotion, character type, or event that occurs in all cultures. Archetypes represent something universal in the overall human experience. (I’ll share an example. The international movie, “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” used so many common archetypes that I found myself repeatedly wondering if I’d seen the movie before.)
In 2004, literary theorist Christopher Booker wrote “The Seven Basic Plots: Why We Tell Stories,” basing his premise on the following seven plots:
Overcoming the monster – An evil force is threatening the hero/heroine and their world. The h/h must slay the monster to receive a great reward.
Rags to riches – The h/h is insignificant and overlooked by others. Because of a trigger event, they are revealed to be exceptional.
The quest – The h/h sets out on a long, hazardous quest, overcoming all obstacles until they reach their goal.
Voyage and return – The h/h travels outside of their comfortable world into the unknown before returning to the safety of their home.
Comedy – A series of trigger events involving mistaken identity or a fundamental misunderstanding that results in hilarious chaos.
Tragedy – A story without a happy ending that ends in loss or death.
Rebirth – The h/h falls under a dark form of control before breaking free and being redeemed.
Regarding archetypes, psychologist Carl Jung theorized that we use such symbolism to grasp complex concepts more easily. He stated: “There are forms or images of a collective nature which occur practically all over the earth as constituents of myths and at the same time, as individual products of the unconscious.” Jung maintained that these archetypes remained unchanged and recognizable and that they exhibit personality traits that are commonly understood.
The 12 archetypes are:
The Innocent – Seeks to do things the right way in harmony, free of corruption or influence.
Everyman – Seeks connections and belonging. Supportive, faithful, and down-to-earth.
Hero – On a mission to make the world a better place.
Outlaw – Questions authority and breaks the rules.
Explorer – Inspired by travel, adventure, and risk.
Creator – Imaginative and inventive, driven to create things with real meaning.
Ruler – Creates order from chaos. Typically controlling and stern, yet responsible and organized.
Magician – Makes dreams a reality.
Lover – Inspires intimate moments with love, passion, romance, and commitment.
Caregiver – Protects and nurtures others.
Jester – Uses humor, irreverence, mischief, and fun to bring joy to the world.
Sage – Thoughtful mentor or advisor bringing wisdom and deeper insight.
Taking this information, try these exercises to tighten your creative focus:
Name a book or movie that uses each one of the seven plots.
Name a character from a book or a movie that fits each of the 12 archetypes.
Using your current work in progress, which of the seven plots fits your story? If you discover some overlap, which plot is stronger? What happens to your storyline when you focus only on that one?
Identify an archetype for each one of your characters. Next step: which archetype do they think they are? Do the two choices match? What happens to your focus and your character’s motivations when they do?
Martha Reed is the IPPY Book Award-winning author of the John and Sarah Jarad Nantucket Mysteries and of “Love Power,” her latest mystery set in the spellbinding city of New Orleans featuring Gigi Pascoe, a transgender sleuth.
She’s an active member of the Florida Gulf Coast and Guppy chapters of Sisters in Crime, a member of Mystery Writers of America, and in a moment of great personal folly she joined the New Orleans Bourbon Society (N.O.B.S.)
Her stories and articles have appeared in Pearl, Suspense Magazine, Spinetingler, Mystery Readers Journal, Mysterical-e, and in “Lucky Charms – 12 Crime Tales,” an anthology produced by the Mary Roberts Rinehart Pittsburgh chapter of Sisters in Crime. Her story, “The Honor Thief” was included in the 2021 Bouchercon anthology, “This Time For Sure,” edited by Hank Phillippi-Ryan.
Martha adores travel, big jewelry, California wine country, and simply great coffee. She delights in the ongoing antics of her family, fans, and friends who she lovingly calls The Mutinous Crew. You’re invited to follow her on Facebook and Twitter @ReedMartha.
Finding Your Niche as a Writer
By Linda Hughes
It seems easy enough. You know what types of mysteries sell and make a lot of money, so you figure that’s what you’ll write. But then things start going wrong: It’s a struggle to finish a book, your beta readers are less than enthusiastic, agents reject your queries, or nobody buys your book.
Does that mean you’re a terrible writer? Maybe not. Here are some things to consider before you hang it up and schlep back to that former job you walked out on.
1: Are you certain about the requirements for the genre and subgenre you’ve chosen? They are very specific in most cases. For example, you might think you’re writing a cozy mystery but you have a character who likes to cuss. That’s not a cozy, which doesn’t allow blatant sex, violence, or profanity. Therefore, if you’re marketing it as a cozy mystery, readers and agents are disappointed. They aren’t getting what they want. That doesn’t mean you’re a lousy writer; it means you need to find the genre and subgenre that fit your writing and market to readers who want that type of story.
2: There are several subgenres for mysteries, which is the genre I’ll use as the example here. What they’re called depends on where you look, but let’s assume you want your book to be listed on Amazon. If you’re not sure about genres and subgenres, this helps:
Go to Amazon, click on “Books,” don’t type anything in the search box but click on the magnifying glass. Scroll down to “Departments” and click “Mystery, Thriller & Suspense.” There you will find Amazon’s version of subgenres, which they call subcategories.
Click again on the left hand column, on Mystery, for another drop down list, showing more Catagories.
The most popular subcategories for Mysteries are Cozy, Hardboiled (no holds barred), Police Procedural (usually from a police detective’s point of view, the “POV”), Private Investigator (who can be a retired police detective), and Women Sleuths.
Click on each subcategory. Books that are bestsellers in each one will pop up. Click on several books and examine them closely. Read the descriptions, look at the covers, and read the reviews. Which books in which subcategories are most like yours? That’s where your book belongs. You can also research the requirements for each genre and subgenre using Google or any search engine, but examining the actual books is a great starting point. Reading some of those books is even better.
Here’s where it gets a bit confusing: When you set up your book in Amazon, you are allowed to list it under two categories or subcategories. But if you have an Amazon Author’s Account (highly recommended), you can email customer service and ask for eight more. The more slots it fits into, the more exposure your book gets. However, don’t use them all if they aren’t a genuine fit. Readers search for books by category, and will be mightily disappointed if they pay for a book that doesn’t meet their expectations. They’ll let you know about their dissatisfaction in reviews.
3: Most important is that you find the right subgenre fit and therefore market your book to the right readers.
4: However, after all that research, what if you still aren’t sure of the subgenre you prefer for writing mysteries? You could experiment with short stories or blog posts. Try different POVs. Practice. (I know, you just want to publish and make money. For most of us, it doesn’t work that way. We need to work on honing our craft.) As you write, be aware of which type of story you most enjoy working on. What you enjoy is going to produce your best book.
5: Don’t be afraid to be a genre-switcher or to write different books in different genres and subgenres. Again, if each book sticks to its category’s requirements and is marketed to the right audience, it has a better chance of success. That certainly has worked for Nora Roberts, known for her romance novels, who also writes mysteries under the pen name J. D. Robb. A pen name is optional, as today’s contemporary readers are quite accepting of genre-switching, as long as they know what they’re getting.
6: Lastly, consider the possibility that you need to learn more about how to write a good story that is marketable. There are countless resources available to help you learn about good writing and about managing the business of writing. The annual Killer Nashville International Writers’ Conference is an excellent place to start. Whether you’re an aspiring or established writer, this gathering offers not only education and inspiration, but camaraderie, as well. It’s my favorite writers’ conference every year. Here’s the link: https://killernashville.com/killer-nashville-writers-conference/
Finding your niche as a writer means you’re willing to explore and ready to enjoy the craft of writing. As writers, we work hard – that’s true – but we also revel in the experience. So explore, learn, do the work, and write that great story that brings you joy. (And may it bring you a bundle of cash, too!)
Linda Hughes is a #1 bestselling co-author and award-winning author of twenty books and three screenplays. She loves to genre-switch amongst mysteries, historical romantic suspense, and family saga. Her latest is a romantic novella, Lilac Island. Find her on Amazon at: https://www.amazon.com/Linda-Hughes/e/B000APKVGI
The Writer’s Playbook | Fan Favorites
By Steven Harms
If you’ve followed any sport—pro, college, or youth—and whether that be a team sport (i.e., basketball) or solo (i.e., golf), there’s usually a consensus player who earns the term “fan favorite.” It’s the individual who captures the hearts of the fans, someone who isn’t necessarily the star player. In fact, I’d argue the moniker is reserved for a role player who rises above his or her perceived limitations to perform at a high level while organically baring their human side on or off the field of play.
I used the term “earns” with purpose. In all my years in pro sports, I’ve witnessed many a player become that team’s fan favorite just by combining consistently good performance doing their specific job with a personality that endears them to the fan base. It’s not the all-star player, but rather the sub or the unglamorous player who shines.
In Detroit, where most of my career was spent, those fan favorites were the players with that working-class approach to their job. Detroit is known as a blue-collar, hard-working, gritty, get-the-job-done town. And they love underdogs. Each market has a vibe and a role player that can capture that quality by their level of play and personality to become a star.
The NBA enshrines such a player by honoring them with the “NBA Sixth Man of the Year Award,” an annual award to the player who is not a starter but is the best player who enters the game as a substitute and puts up the best performance over a season. Invariably, that player is a fan favorite in that player’s market. Why? He’s the role player that shines. Hollywood does the same thing with their “Best Supporting Actor” awards. The award itself is an affirmation that an amazing performance by a secondary character can win over the hearts and minds of the movie-going public.
This dynamic is true in the stories we write and read as well. In my debut novel, Give Place to Wrath, I introduced a three-headed detective team led by the main protagonist, Roger Viceroy. Viceroy dominates the book, but I gave enough spotlight to his two assistants that one of them became a surprising fan favorite—Trevor “Silk” Moreland.
Silk had the backstory in his favor. As a kid who grew up in a blighted section of Milwaukee, he was destined for basketball stardom with a full ride to Marquette University until his dreams were cut short by a bullet that destroyed his basketball career during his senior year in high school. But that unfortunate incident was also the fuse that ignited his passion for police work and honed his innate abilities to become an excellent detective.
After the book debuted and reviews started coming in, there were a good number of people who called out Silk and how much they enjoyed his character with a few even suggesting I spin him off to his own series. I thought about it, but I also realized he resonated so much because he was a support character who authentically excelled at what he did as part of a team.
Every story has minor characters, and at times, they’re written to bridge a gap in the story arc or serve a role to provide information or advance a particular chapter. Those characters are needed, to be sure. However, readers will instinctually gravitate to a secondary character if they are written with enough detail, given their own spotlight at times, and can showcase an authentic and relatable character trait or a backstory of overcoming their personal obstacles. They provide an ingredient that elevates the book because they tap into the charitable and empathetic side of our nature.
I’ve seen it happen in Major League ballparks, NBA arenas, and NFL stadiums. When the fan favorite enters the game, there is a noticeable lift as the fan’s attention turns to that player and the energy and character traits he brings to the game. Win or lose, when the fan-favorite plays, the fans’ enjoyment of the game elevates because they are emotionally invested in that player.
If an author can write a supporting character that earns an emotional connection to readers, a novel’s odds of success are simply enhanced. It’s the “fan favorite” effect. While readers are certainly intellectually involved with the protagonist, having that beloved bench player enter the game will always perk up the moment and pull a reader closer to where you want them to be–engaged and wanting to turn the page.
Turn Customer Reviews into a Potent Marketing Tool
By Mariana Goodwin
Did you know that customers are one of the most useful tools a business can use for marketing and boosting brand reputation? What better way to show other potential customers about your business, than through existing customers who have already had a positive experience!
People want assurance when making a purchase. They want to know that other people have enjoyed the product or service and that it was useful. A simple and effective way to promote this is via the use of online customer reviews. In today’s digital world, many eCommerce platforms like Shopify allow customers to leave reviews relating to your products or business. These, in turn, can be amazing marketing tools, and help bring in new customers.
In the article below, we look at some simple ways that you can utilize customer reviews to improve your business reputation and sales!
1. Publish customer reviews on your website homepage
The key aspect of customer reviews is their visibility. Reviews are most effective when they can easily be read by potential customers. As a result, many businesses have a section on their website homepage dedicated to customer reviews. This is typically a scrolling review feed or a simple band on a scrolling homepage. The key is to make the reviews obvious and to emphasize the positive aspects. For example, you could consider making keywords bold, or adding a star rating. Don’t overload your homepage with reviews, but adding 3-5 in a logically placed section can help greatly.
2. Add customer reviews to enhance the buying experience on product pages
Aside from having things like a logo (you can use tools like Logocreator.io to make a logo) and product images, product pages should also include reviews. If you look at popular online stores like Amazon, you can always find a review section. This typically includes a star rating system, and review comments from customers. Many online store builders have product comment or product review plugins that you can add to your eCommerce store.
3. Share amazing customer reviews on social media
Social media is a powerful marketing tool in its own right. You can reach thousands of people and build a huge audience with minimal effort and expense. It is therefore a great idea to post customer reviews on your social media platforms. Always obtain permission first to repost customer reviews as this could break data protection laws - you could include an option on the review submission form that states customers are happy for their reviews to be shared.\
When promoting products on social media, you could include snippets of customer reviews underneath the product info to improve its attractiveness.
4. Request customer reviews for third-party rating sites like Trust Pilot
Customer reviews are not only useful on your website. They can also be incredibly powerful when posted on third-party platforms. The wider you can spread your reputation, the easier you can improve your brand rep, and gain new custom. Consider asking customers to submit reviews to third-party websites like Trust Pilot and Google Businesses. Trust Pilot, in particular, is often considered a modern benchmark for quality. If you can get a high rating on this website it will help boost your business reputation and sales greatly.
Reputation is highly important for business. Customers want assurance when spending their hard-earned money. This is why real customer reviews are so beneficial. Positive reviews from actual customers let potential new customers see exactly the quality of what they are potentially buying. Using various online methods, you can share these reviews, and put them to good use.
Adding Tension, Suspense, & Intrigue to Your Story
By James Glass
Are you in the process of writing a novel? Crime or suspense thriller? Or some other popular fiction you hope will grab readers’ attention? Besides a great character and a fascinating plot, you need to keep readers engaged and eagerly turning the pages. ALL genres of fiction, and not just thrillers, need tension and intrigue. That and a certain amount of suspense. But how do you break away from other writers in your genre? You must ratchet up the tension, intrigue, and suspense. Create a fast-paced, nail-biting, page-turner. Okay, but how?
First, create a protagonist your readers will care about, and give him/her some worries and secrets. Make your hero or heroine intriguing and complex, clever, and resourceful. But not perfect. Perfect is too boring and you’ll lose your readers. Make them vulnerable. Whether physical vulnerability or some inner conflict, regrets, and secrets. In most cases, you want your protagonist to be likeable too, or at least possess some endearing traits to make readers worry about and want to root for. If readers can’t identify with or bond with your character, it’s pretty clear your story needs work.
Next, you want to get up close and personal. Use deep point of view (first-person or third-person) to get us into the head and body of your main character right from the opening paragraph. Show their thoughts, fears, hopes, frustrations, worries, and physical and sensory reactions in every scene. Most new writers want to start with opening their story with description, background info, or even flashbacks. Instead, open with action. It’s best to jumpstart your story with your lead interacting with someone else who matters to them, preferably with a bit of discord and tension. And show his/her inner thoughts and emotional reactions, maybe some frustration or anxiety. Give your character a problem to solve right from the start. This creates an early conflict that throws your lead off-balance and will make your readers worry about him/her. A worried reader is an engaged reader. Remember—act first, explain later.
Another way to create suspense is to withhold information. There’s no surprise for the reader if they know everything up front. This is so important and a common weakness for new fiction writers. Hold off on critical information. Give a hint of a traumatic or life-changing event early on. But reveal fragments of info about it little by little, through dialogue, thoughts, and brief flashbacks. This will keep your readers wondering and worrying—keeping your reader engaged as they need to know but have to read further.
Don’t get bogged down in lengthy descriptions, backstory, or exposition. Keep the action and interactions moving ahead, especially in the first chapter. Dialogue is your best friend early on. This isn’t to say dialogue is not needed later on, but new writers tend to overuse narrative description. This usually results in a slower pace and bogs down the action.
Then introduce a significant, meaningful story problem for your protagonist. Now that your readers care about the main character, insert a major challenge, dilemma, goal, or threat within the first ten chapters, a big one that won’t be resolved until the end. The tension will keep the reader engaged throughout the story.
Every page needs some tension, even if it’s just doubt, questioning, disbelief, disagreement, suspicion, or resentment simmering below the surface. Add in tough choices and moral dilemmas. Devise ongoing difficult decisions and inner conflict for your lead character. Besides making your plot more suspenseful, this will also make your protagonist more complex, vulnerable, and intriguing.
Insert several plot twists. Readers are surprised and delighted when the events take a turn they never expected. Don’t let your readers become complacent, thinking it’s easy to figure out the ending, or they may stop reading. To keep the reader engaged, establish a sense of urgency, a tense mood, and generally fast pacing.
Utilize cliff-hangers. Put your hero or heroine in danger at the end of some chapters. This will incite reader curiosity and questions and compel them to go to the next chapter. James Patterson is a master of short chapters with lots of suspense that forces the reader to turn to the next chapter.
I hope you find these tips to be helpful.
James Glass achieved the rank of Command Master Chief before retiring after 22 years in the United States Navy. After retiring from the Navy, he exchanged his rifle for a pen. He and his family moved back to Florida. James is also the President of the Panhandle Writers Group. He’s published five novels, one novella, and two (you solve the crime) chapter books.
Truth Meter for Murder: The Interview
"In real-world situations, it's very difficult to know what the truth is.”
Israeli psychologist Gershon Ben-Shahar
At the heart of Razor Wire Wilderness, my soon-to-launch true crime memoir, stands Krystal Riordan, then a 20-year-old prostitute who witnessed a horrific murder, and now a 35-year-old inmate. In July 2006, at the end of a hot, steamy night, her 36-year-old pimp/boyfriend Draymond Coleman brought Jennifer Moore, a teenage girl stranded after a night of underage drinking, to the seedy Weehawken, New Jersey hotel room that the two shared. Krystal saw her boyfriend punch Jennifer when she refused his sexual advances, and then continued to watch the escalating violence, the beating, the strangling, and the rape. Was she a willing accomplice, or was she too a victim? Draymond Coleman pled guilty to first degree murder and received a 50-year sentence. His release date: January 23, 2049. Krystal pled guilty to kidnapping and hindering apprehension and received a 30-year sentence. Her release date: October 25, 2027.
Now, almost 15 years later, the question remains unanswered. Perpetrator or victim? Was she a willing accomplice, or was she too a victim? Or was she both accomplice and victim? Perhaps it’s not the right question or series of questions. Draymond Coleman refuses to be interviewed, although he occasionally writes Krystal: You never turned your back on me. You’re where you are because of my stupidity. And then, most disconcerting: Even after our arrest, your letters were always–I love you, I love you, I love you… What truth lies behind those words? Or the following from Krystal: I froze. I thought I would be next. Does truth smell like sweat and Clorox? He snapped, and then he snapped back. The sweat of the murderer and the Clorox used to wipe DNA from the body. I froze.
Finding the truth for the writer is ultimately not the same as the truth-seeking done by the police or by a prosecuting attorney; the writer is looking for a more nuanced truth, something that works toward explaining the inexplicable. Often, those who know the perpetrator, the character witnesses, are interviewed not to corroborate evidence but to shift the focus, to introduce us to the variegated person they know, to render a fuller, more intimate picture. Draymond babysat for my daughter. He was a big teddy bear. For more substantiation, the police reports are scrutinized. Police look for certainty in either the circumstantial evidence or a confession that will lead to a conviction. Writers want to know what lies behind the corroborated, adjudicated truth. The interior, the unadorned, the bone truth.
How are we to interview an inmate about the crime they were sentenced for? Must they exonerate themselves to themselves? Are they running through a mental checklist of what and who they have revealed the truth to? It matters less how we interview the subject, whether in person or via video/audio or email, than providing a safe emotional space that puts our subject at ease. Krystal, my subject, is an eyewitness as well as a perpetrator. She underwent 14 hours of initial interrogation. Eyewitness testimony often leads not to truth but to misidentification and falsehood. The Innocence Project points out that inaccurate eyewitness testimony is the leading cause of false convictions. We are running up against the notorious tricks of memory. Perhaps the telling and re-telling opens the door to creating false memories.
“Can we believe that she was remorseful? Not after viewing the video. She left the room at will numerous times.”
–Candida Moore, Victim Impact Statement
The grainy hotel video captures Krystal leaving the murder room on numerous occasions. I always did what he told me to do. I was weak-minded. No one who witnessed the crime is independent. The video camera turns out to be the most credible witness, free of bias and emotion. The truth meter grapples with I saw it with own eyes. Human memory is porous, the holes plugged with filler. Experts tell us we can’t possibly take in all the minutia around us, so the brain fills in the details.
Trauma degrades the clarity of memory. I was mugged inside my building, and afterward, I rode with the police through the neighborhood, looking for the perpetrators. I had described two men, the taller one wearing a red sweatshirt. On the police radio, we learned that two men had been apprehended after another mugging, minutes after mine had occurred, and were being held on Greenwich Avenue by the arresting officers. The taller man stood under the streetlights, and I saw he wore a brown jacket, not a red sweatshirt. Instead, he had on red sweatpants. The chrome handgun tossed into the bushes linked the men to a series of muggings, including mine. Why had I been so sure of the red sweatshirt? The men had pushed me down in the stairwell, and I was at eye level with the red sweatpants. I saw red. But what if someone’s future depended wholly on the accuracy of that red sweatshirt?
The interview, including the self-interview, has always fascinated me in its many hybrid forms. I conducted a fictional interview with a noir actress from the 1960s in my book Heat: An Interview with Jean Seberg. (New Michigan Press). Seemingly chronological, the questions evolved into something more circular, i.e., the actress interrogating herself and colliding with the existential question of whether or not you can even know your own truth. My friend Andrew Kaufman’s poetry collection The Rwanda Poems will soon appear, and since he had conducted extensive face-to-face interviews in Rwanda with a number of genocide survivors, rape victims, perpetrators falsely accused, and perpetrators convicted of horrifically murderous acts, I asked him about his technique. Considering he spoke to both victims and perpetrators, was the testimony itself the sought-after truth? The speech? Did his approach differ when it came to perpetrators? He approached both initially the same in a kind of getting-acquainted approach, asking about the subject’s childhood, family, life experiences, school, work, and favorite activities. Then, in the case of perpetrators, the questions would narrow, becoming more pointed and specific.
Perhaps we should all try interviewing exercises, a self-interview, we become our own mock lie detectors. We can look at memory not as something fixed but a fluidity, often a matter of perception.
In reviewing my first letters to Krystal, I discovered that my technique and Andrew’s initially followed a similar path. Tell me about yourself: What is your favorite color? Do you like animals? What kind of music do you listen to? What are your favorite foods? I then told her all my favorites.
Later, I could ask:
Q: I know you and Draymond have a child together. Do you have any contact with the child?
Q: Did having a child with him make it difficult for you to testify against him?
Much later:
Q: Could Jennifer have left the room alive if she had stopped resisting Draymond?
A: Jennifer was no match for Draymond.
Q: Did Jennifer walk into the room willingly, or did Draymond carry her in?
A: Jennifer was doing cocaine.
I questioned the validity of both answers. In Jennifer’s last cell phone call to her boyfriend, she states, “A man keeps following me, and he’s offering me drugs.” What I don’t question in Krystal’s answers are the deeper truths about her inner world that her few words reveal. In the beginning, I could not fathom how a young woman who had the ability to leave the murder room would not run for help. Now I understand I do not condone or excuse, and it is not my place to forgive. Through interviews, I know Krystal both as perpetrator and victim. Never did she consider testifying against her ex-boyfriend, the now-convicted murderer. Although Draymond Coleman has promised on numerous occasions to give his statement to exonerate Krystal, he never has.
Stephanie Dickinson, raised on an Iowa farm, now lives in New York City with the poet Rob Cook and their senior citizen feline, Vallejo. Her novels “Half Girl” and “Lust Series” are published by Spuyten Duyvil, as is her feminist noir “Love Highway.” Other books include “Heat: An Interview with Jean Seberg” (New Michigan Press); “Flashlight Girls Run” (New Meridian Arts Press); “The Emily Fables” (ELJ Press); and “Big-Headed Anna Imagines Herself” (Alien Buddha). She has published poetry and prose in literary journals including Cherry Tree, The Bitter Oleander, Mudfish, Another Chicago Magazine, Lit, The Chattahoochee Review, The Columbia Review, Orca and Gargoyle, among others. Her stories have been reprinted in New Stories from the South, New Stories from the Midwest, and Best American Nonrequired Reading. She received distinguished story citations in Best American Short Stories, Best American Essays and numerous Pushcart anthology citations. In 2020, she won the Bitter Oleander Poetry Book Prize with her “Blue Swan/Black Swan: The Trakl Diaries.” To support the holy flow, she has long labored as a word processor for a Fifth Avenue accounting firm.
Getting out of a Writer’s Slump
By Leslie Conner
All writers have found themselves in the not-so-ideal situation—feeling like they’ve fallen into an abysmal ditch or they’re at a standstill at the foot of an insurmountable mountain. This sensation is most affectionately called “Writer’s Block.” But I prefer not to use that term because it sounds too formidable, like the perfect antagonist.
I choose to use “Writer’s Slump” because it more accurately portrays the predicament (and my horrendous posture at the keyboard). Writer’s Slump is the inevitable condition visited upon anyone who takes on the task of writing anything, whether you are schlepping away at a short story, a mystery novel, or a memoir. You’re gonna run smack dab into that wall and a groan of recognition will escape your lips.
You’ve seen this wall before. We all have.
And there is nothing more defeating than staring at that wall with nothing to say to it but a string of obscenities. It can be frustrating, but it doesn’t have to be immobilizing. I’m here to share a few tips that I use when the creative train in my brain derails somewhere in Albuquerque.
Skip Ahead. If you are writing a scene of two characters in a diner and you’ve spent more than two paragraphs describing how the characters are holding their cups of coffee, just stop. You’ve hit the wall, and you’re trying to drive through it by boring everyone to death. There are times when I know that I need a scene with two characters having a conversation in a diner, but I’m not quite sure how it’s going to play out. In other words, I haven’t figured out the purpose. So, I meander around describing everything just to keep writing, but I end up with miles of nothing. That’s when I know I need to skip ahead to a later scene. Getting the characters into the next predicament can (a lot of times) help me to figure out what should happen before it. Writing what you do know will help you to fill in the blanks of what you don’t know yet.
Work on Something Else. If there is no skipping ahead on this story, you might consider pulling out an abandoned short story or rough draft of another novel. I do this all the time. If you drag your brain through something you haven’t read in a while, it’s like rewiring the synapses. Getting yourself in a completely different world with completely different characters makes you focus on anything other than what you were struggling with in the first story. And then when you come back to that story later, you’ll see what you need to do, clear as day. Almost like it was right there in front of your face taunting you like Road Runner does to Wile E. Coyote.
Go to another creative thing. Writers are creative people, and their creativity is not limited to just writing. Most authors I know enjoy many other creative hobbies. So, when you are stuck in the mire with your story, pick up the guitar or sit at the piano, get the canvas out, or take some artsy black and white photos of your cat (even if he doesn’t want you to—and he, most likely, doesn’t). I can hear you saying now, “but writing is my jam. I’m not good at anything else.” Well, that’s just not true. Everyone has talents that they don’t consider talents. You could bake the most incredible red velvet cake or whip up a mean spinach artichoke dip. Maybe you’re great at knitting socks for dogs or growing tulips. Whatever it is that you love to do—that you lose yourself in—go do that until the writing muse makes her grand entrance again.
Go to the woods. If steps one through three don’t help, the most reliable way to break through a slump is to go outside. Nothing clears out the gray matter clutter better than some fresh air. Go to the nearest park and take a hike. Get lost in the trees, sit and ponder the reflections on the lake—wherever you can go that removes the sounds of civilization from your consciousness (you know those pesky things like cars, phones, televisions, and people). There is nothing better to restore your sense of calm and creativity than communing with the birds. They always have a story to tell, and if you’re lucky, you can hear it.
A Writer’s Slump is just a dip in the road. You aren’t a bad writer or a failed creative person if you find yourself sitting in the mud puddle every once in a while. But if you are diligent about inviting your creative muse to come back to you, she will. And it probably wouldn’t hurt to have some donuts there for her, too.
Fact to Fiction: Turning Real Crime into Story
By Anne Da Vigo
Almost everyone has some memory of a real crime that has stuck with them.
Maybe you saw TV news about a strange disappearance. Or a great-uncle spun a tale of a brazen heist. When you worked for a former employer, you heard whispers of evil deeds.
For mystery writers, that’s how novels are born: an earworm of an idea sparked by real crime that won’t shut up until it’s transformed into fiction.
I started on the road from fact to fiction in the late 1970s. I was working as a journalist back then, in the agricultural and oil industry town of Bakersfield, California.
My editor sent me to cover a murder trial. The jury found the accused not guilty of stabbing and beating to death a local businessman. I wrote the story and within months had moved on to a bigger newspaper.
But I was haunted by trial testimony about a thirteen-year-old boy abused by the victim.
Three years later, the boy murdered another of his abusers, a top county government official.
The victim was part of a secretive group of powerful men in business, law enforcement, and the district attorney’s office who abused vulnerable teens. These and other murders involving the circle were dubbed the Lords of Bakersfield cases.
I spent years thinking about the Lords, and eventually began writing what would become my thriller, Bakersfield Boys Club.
As I sat down at the computer, I faced decisions many crime writers face: how to craft actual events into fiction.
First, I needed a unifying character to knit the story of the murder series together, someone with a passionate commitment to uncovering the truth.
My solution? Creating a struggling widow whose teenage son was ensnared by a circle of dissolute men. She wasn’t a real person, which gave me the freedom to delve into her innermost thoughts and feelings and share them with the reader.
Her harrowing journey from disbelief to relentless outrage also formed the essential character arc for the story.
Next, I wanted to include several characters in the thriller that were loosely inspired by real people, but I wasn’t certain how to protect myself against an accusation of defamation.
I found several internet sites that helped address my concerns. You can find a list on my web page, www.annedavigoauthor.com.
Basic advice for authors: mask characters by changing their names and physical characteristics.
Another aspect of defamation law was helpful as I wrote the thriller. Most of the prominent players in the Lords cases had died by the time I began writing; only a living person can file a claim for damages to their character or reputation.
Truth, of course, is the basic defense against allegations of defamation.
In my case, the local newspaper had written a series about the Lords of Bakersfield, winning a major journalism prize. I felt confident about using events that had been vetted by their lawyers and disseminated widely in the press.
Pacing was another issue that had to be dealt with in morphing the story from fact to fiction. Because the actual events occurred over a period of nearly twenty-five years, I was finding it difficult to build suspense.
Several drafts and thousands of words later, I decided to compress the murder series into a two-year time frame. That way, the frantic mother was working against an escalating threat to save her son.
I chalked up my strategy as a success when several readers said they stayed up late to turn the last page.
Finally, the facts, incidents, and characters that formed the factual story needed to be woven into a theme for the fictional mystery.
The theme wasn’t clear in my mind when I began writing, although my outrage at the abuse experienced by young people had been brewing for years.
As I wrote, the theme began to emerge: those who exploit the weakest among us must be punished, no matter what the obstacles.
My commitment to the theme of Bakersfield Boys Club led me to write a conclusion I’d never considered when I began the mystery.
Now I’m at work on another thriller, this one sparked by a mysterious tale I heard at my husband’s college reunion.
Anne Da Vigo is a former journalist and public relations professional who lives in Northern California. Her thriller, Bakersfield Boys Club, is available from Amazon or on order from your bookseller.
Five Writing Tips No One Has Ever Told You
A bold assertion, I know, but there are things one learns over a lifetime of writing that seem to contradict what we’ve been taught and even, at times, to defy both logic and rationality. What follows is a short list of—insights might be too strong a word—items that I’ve learned the hard way.
ONE. You don’t need an idea to get started. Waiting for inspiration or for a “good idea” can be frustrating and time-consuming. Another way of saying that is you’re wasting precious time. Ideas are curious entities and they form in many different ways and for many different reasons. Most often, I’ve found they develop in stages; rarely do they appear fully formed. In lieu of that fully dressed idea, a writer can begin with an image, a single sentence, a character performing a simple action, a particular setting, or even a single word. Anything can serve as a starting point.
Take for example the case of Tennessee Williams. He has stated that his play, A Streetcar Named Desire, began with a single image: a woman in white sitting on a porch. That image eventually became the character Blanche du Bois: the tragic heroine of arguably one of the greatest American plays of the 20th century. When I began my first novel, I had only this notion: a group of boys playing in one of New York City’s urban swamplands. I had no sense of what I wanted to write—or that it would indeed turn out to be a novel—beyond that small detail. Some 10 years later—I know, I know, a hell of a long time, but it was my first—and my novel, Catholic Boys, emerged.
My point is, you can begin anywhere, with the barest scrap of material. Who knows where it will lead? The journey toward the idea is half the fun. One word on the page leads to a second, one sentence to a second sentence. It’s as basic as that.
TWO. Plot is another name for character development. One doesn’t have to agonize over outlining a plot or whether a plot is interesting enough. You don’t need a plot to begin. If the characters are interesting, the plot will be too, because the most genuine, credible plots are an extension of a character’s desires. If you know what a character wants, what the obstacles are, and what he or she will do to overcome those obstacles, then the plot, as if by wizardry, takes form. Simply follow your character’s struggle to reach an objective. And you will have your plot.
THREE. Tension should exist in every sentence. Much can be said about the ways to create narrative tension, but a simple rule I strive for is to have some kind of tension in every sentence of my books. That tension can be of varying kinds, it can be explicit or implicit, but it needs to be there. And I’m not talking about obvious explicit tension—a stabbing or a fist fight or an argument between people. That speaks for itself. I’m referring to the more subtle variations of implicit tension: something is unfinished or unresolved, something is left unsaid, something needs fixing, something is missing that a character needs or wants, and so forth.
Take for example a typical poem of the Romantic era. On the surface, the poem is praising the beauty of a particular flower, but the tension beneath the surface is that as beautiful as this flower is, it’s going to wither and die. So ultimately the poem is about, and the tension comes from, our sense of transience, loss, and grief.
FOUR. Finding your way when you get lost. Nothing is worse for me than losing my emotional connection to my work in the midst of creating it. Where did it go–that connection to the material, that passion that got me started on the work in the first place? Personally, I try to never abandon a work I’ve begun. Something stimulated my initial interest, impulse, or passion. For some reason the material or characters reached out and grabbed hold of me. There’s a story there that needs telling, so I try to forget what I’ve written so far and go back in search of that original impulse. Maybe that means revisiting a place or making contact again with a person or people connected to the incident I’m writing about. Often it’s a matter of feeling my way back to the source: those feelings that first got me engaged in the piece. I might listen to songs or look through photos from a particular period. Essentially, though, I’m trying to pinpoint the source of the impulse that made me want to begin writing the piece in the first place. If I can reconnect to it, I can usually reconnect to the story I’m telling. (This may mean eliminating some or even most of what I’ve written. It may mean going back to that point in the story where I went offtrack and picking up from there.)
FIVE. Revisions take time and distance. One can, and should, do some revisions at the conclusion of completing a piece. What I’ve found is that vital revisions require some kind of separation from that initial effort. What has served me best is to set the work aside and begin a new writing project. When I’ve completed a draft of the new project, then I go back and rework the previous piece. There’s something about immersing oneself in a new writing project that brings with it a sense of objectivity and awareness that’s necessary in the final polishing of a manuscript. Resist the temptation to rush it off for publication. A piece of writing needs time to mature. And we, as writers, are well-served to mature along with it.
Philip Cioffari grew up in the Bronx and received his B.A. from St. John's University and his Ph.D. from New York University. He teaches in the writing program at William Paterson University. His novels and story collections include: If Anyone Asks, Say I Died From The Heartbreaking Blues; The Bronx Kill; Catholic Boys; Dark Road, Dead End; Jesusville; and A History Of Things Lost Or Broken.
Killer Nashville Interview with Hank Phillippi Ryan
2022 Guest of Honor
KN: First, we loved Her Perfect Life. What sparked the idea?
HPR: Oh, thank you! That is the best thing an author can ever hear.
Here’s the beginning of the idea: When I worked in Atlanta, in the 80s, I was anchoring the weekend news. I came home after the late news one night, midnight or even later, and my street was clogged with police cars. As I got closer, I saw that they were focused on my house! And turned out, someone had broken in! The police had already caught the burglar, and told me he confessed to them that he had chosen my house to break into because he knew I was live on television. Isn’t that chilling?
Because he knew where I was, he knew where I wasn’t. That understanding of the deep vulnerability of being a television reporter began to haunt me. What if I had something hidden in my house that I didn’t want anyone to see? What if he had found it? What if he threatened to make it public? And that was the beginning of the story.
And led to the irony in the title.
But, as you can see when you read the book, that’s the theme, but that break-in is not part of the plot.
Her Perfect Life turned out to be about sisters, betrayal, guilt, fame, and revenge. Everyone knows television reporter Lily Atwood, and that may be her biggest problem. She has fame, fortune, and beloved daughter; and her devoted fans have even given her a hashtag: #PerfectLily. But Lily also has one life-changing dark secret—and if anyone finds out, she fears her career and happiness are over. Problem is: how do you keep a secret when you’re always in the spotlight? And when an anonymous source begins to tell Lily secrets about Lily’s own life—she learns the spotlight may be the most dangerous place of all.
And so incredibly thrilled that it got a starred review from Kirkus, and also a star from Publishers Weekly, which called it “A superlative thriller.” Whew.
KN: Lily sounds a bit like you in some ways, at least. She’s an Emmy winning TV reporter in Boston. Is anything based on real-life experience?
HPR: So funny! Well, yes and no. They say write what you know—and also to write what you fear. I’ve been an investigative television reporter for more than 40 years now, yikes. And I’m still on the air in Boston, of course. But many years ago, when I was just starting as a television reporter, I went to the laundromat. (Very exciting, right? Glamorous.) And a woman came up to me and said ‘Oh, you’re Hank from television!” And she proceeded to tell me about a story she wanted me to do. I listened politely, but I went home and called my mother and whined. “Can you believe it?” I asked. “Someone came up to me in the laundromat! “ And my mother paused, and then she said: “You chose the life in the spotlight. Welcome to the spotlight. And I never want to hear you complain again.” She was completely right, of course, and that has truly stuck with me.
But my family did not choose that spotlight. What if that makes them vulnerable too? So much for the perfect life.
And although in Her Perfect Life Lily has many fans, she also has a lot of enemies. Think about it: every one of those Emmy’s she’s won—just like the ones I’ve won—means there is someone whose secret she’s told. Someone who’d rather she’d have stayed quiet. Every one of those Emmys represents a new enemy, right? Scary.
It’s also a huge responsibility. You can never be wrong! Never make a mistake, never use the wrong word, or call someone the wrong name, or miscalculate, and never be one second late. And you have to do the whole thing with perfect hair and make-up and a hundred thousand people watching. All part of the job.
Personally? I’ve been stalked, followed, yelled at, threatened, had people come to my house, and harass me on the phone. As Lily learns, being in the spotlight can bring antipathy, too.
KN: You’ve just finished your 14th manuscript. How do you tend to come up with story ideas? Do you worry you’ll run out?
HPR: Ha! That’s the toughest of all questions. How do I come up with ideas? I have no idea. I truly don’t. Sometimes it’s one tiny nugget from an investigation I’m working on—my novels are not my news stories made into fiction—but maybe a tiny fact, or a possibility, or a personality, or something that didn’t turn out to be true in real life but would be fascinating in fiction. Maybe it’s simply a passing random moment of “what if?” I think reporters and storytellers have a sort of ‘blink’ reflex, where we hear something, and in an instant, can say—oh, that’s a great story! So, I have to admit, much of my life is spent remembering to be open to those moments of inspiration.
Am I worried that I will run out of ideas? Daily. And never. I am terrified, I’ll confess, before the beginning of every book that I’ll never have another good idea. I hear about authors who have stashes of them. But I tell myself—I don’t need a stash. I just need one at a time.
KN: The pacing and plot twists are fantastic—how do you write/plan the plot?
HPR: It’s a writerly answer, but my favorite part of writing Her Perfect Life was when I finally figured out how it would all end. And that came very late in the book! I don’t use an outline, so I’m writing along, happily, and the story is emerging --if I am lucky--but there is some point in the book where you have to find the answer! It’s like—setting up a mystery that then I have to solve.
And it was very difficult this time. I walked around and walked around and got to the point where I thought – I can’t do this. I have no idea. And then, at some point, it just appeared to me. And when I figured out the end, I stood up and applauded. You have to picture this, because I was by myself. But I stood up and applauded.
KN: Tell us about yourself. Did you always love mysteries growing up?
HPR: I grew up in really rural Indiana, so rural that you couldn’t see another house from my house. My sister and I used to ride our ponies to the library to get books, and we read up in the hayloft of the barn behind our house. That’s where I fell in love with Nancy Drew, and Sherlock Holmes, and Agatha Christie. (So funny that later in life I won awards named after the fabulous Agatha!)
I think my career as an investigative reporter is a result of my curiosity, and my love of storytelling, and my—if I can say so—desire to stand up for the little guy and change the world. So I was a reporter for more than thirty years before I started writing fiction.
Still, though I always thought about being a writer, even as a little girl, I decided, back then, it might be more fun to be Sherlock Holmes than to write about Sherlock. So being an investigative reporter and a crime fiction author—I got a little of each.
But both those careers are about storytelling, right? And suspense, and secrets. And I do think being a reporter taught me even more about storytelling—so it all works.
I live just outside of Boston now, with my darling husband, in a big Victorian with gardens and huge trees and lots of green.
KN: What are you currently reading? Some best mysteries you've read lately?
HPR: Oh, what a wonderful question! A Line to Kill by Anthony Horowitz—he is the cleverest person ever. All Her Little Secrets—a terrific psychological legal thriller by debut author Wanda Morris. Hannah Morrissey’s debut, Hello Transcriber. And oh, Vera Kurian’s We Were Never Here. Another terrific (and diabolical) debut. One more? Another debut: Amanda Jayatissa’s My Sweet Girl. (Read with the lights on.) And if you ask me two weeks from now, there’ll be more.
KN: Can you tell us about your next book?
HPR: Ah, well, sure. The fabulous news is that I just sent my first draft to my editor in New York. And it’s always a huge relief to get that crazy first draft on paper and make my deadline. So soon it will be time to edit, and that’s very exciting.
It’s a thriller—and I would say: “Two smart women face off in a high stakes psychological cat-and-mouse game to prove their truth about who is behind a devastating financial scam—but which woman is the cat, and which is the mouse? Money changes everything—that’s what friends are for.”
What’s the title, you ask? It was originally called Her New Best Friend. But that may change. And I’ll let you know! But crossing fingers this will be my best yet.
Writing the High-Concept Novel by DiAnn Mills
CHARACTERS, CRIMES,
AND CRIMINAL TACTICS
Launching our books doesn’t have to be a formidable task. Instead, consider the it a challenge we can meet head-on with a plan that works.
“Everybody walks past a thousand story ideas every day. The good writers are the ones who see five or six of them. Most people don’t see any.” — Orson Scott
Every writer wants to hear their story premise is a high concept novel. Agents and editors battle to secure that coveted, marketable, reader-captivating story; although stats say roughly only 5 percent of submissions fall into that category. A high concept novel has mass appeal and is easy to pitch. Think the WOW factor.
The following helps the writer move toward a high-concept novel.
Story Idea
A story idea is like trekking into an unexplored wilderness. The hike is rough, dangerous, and filled with obstacles. Sometimes we question our sanity and the value of spending hours venturing toward an exciting destination.
A writer’s idea is valuable, but what does a writer do with something that exists only in the mind? The mental image attracts us, lures us to consider an incredible story, and we long to move forward.
Ideas are everywhere. All we need to do is look around us. Every breath is someone’s story, a gem to develop from a writer’s unique perspective. Oh, the possibilities to generate our next novel:
Dreams
Fears
Scripts
Blog posts
Movies
Nightmares
Devotions
Memories
Poetry
TV shows
Conversations
Nonfiction books
Documentaries
Genealogy
Media headlines
Family history
Magazine articles
And the list goes on
Observe people and situations in different settings for additional ideas. Seeing others in action stirs our artistic expression. My favorite people-watching places include malls, zoos, airports, restaurants, and recreational spots.
A writer takes an idea and moves forward with a concept, much like peeling back the layers of an onion.
Concept
“A concept is a central idea or notion that creates context for a story.” Larry Brooks
A concept is the foundation of our story. Alone, the statement means nothing, but the writer uses concept to build a premise.
Premise
How does a writer take a raw concept and shape it into a polished premise?
“Premise is NOT concept. But it can be fueled by whatever is conceptual about the story (stated separately within a pitch as the story’s concept). Premise is the summarized description of a story. And when that story is considered fresh and powerful, premise emerges from a conceptual landscape.” — Larry Brooks
Idea example: A female FBI Special Agent resigns because of a tragedy.
Concept example: A female FBI Special Agent blames her career for the cause of a tragic death and resigns.
What can a writer do with that?
Premise example: A female FBI Special Agent blames her career for the cause of a tragic, family death and resigns. She returns to teaching college freshman creative writing. An assignment for her students to write the first fifty pages of a novel reveals the source of her nightmare sits in her class.
Should a writer settle for the first premise that enters their mind? Not if they want a story that exceeds an agent, editor, or reader’s expectations.
With a strong premise, a writer examines the many possibilities that can arise from one sentence. An idea, concept, and premise add to the development of the story. But in a high concept novel, the premise becomes the pitch and drives the story forward. The premise relays a simple idea, genre, originality, and distinctive qualities. The spin or twist must be unprecedented.
Writer, if the plotline of your story is complicated or the pitch takes longer than three sentences, it’s not high concept. Look at the following guidelines:
The short premise steps beyond unique, distinct, and amazing to unparalleled. Each word packs a punch, increasing the desire for more of the adventure.
The protagonist hits the top of the likability chart.
The story appeals to a wide audience. Readers create a buzz that translates into book sales. No matter the genre, readers flock to read the story.
The external and internal conflict applies to many readers. They identify with the struggles and more easily envision the adventure.
The characters’ emotions play a critical role and easily engage the reader.
The plot often takes something ordinary and adds an ingenious/clever slant or twist that isn’t easily answered.
The goal for the protagonist looks unattainable.
The novel is well written. Period.
Not all the above have to be in place for a high concept novel, but more of these traits increase the likelihood.
I’ve listed some high-concept novels that cover many genres, but it’s not an exhaustive list. I encourage you to study these books and movies to dissect how and why these flew to the top of the bestseller and movie lists.
Lord of the Rings – J. R. R. Tolkien
Jurassic Park – Michael Crichton
Star Wars – George Lucas
Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins
The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown
Life of Pi – Yann Martel
Harry Potter – J. K. Rowling
The Chronicles of Narnia – C. S. Lewis
For many high concept novels, the setting is key. When an antagonistic setting is pitted against the character, the resulting conflict forces the character to change and grow.
While all the plots have been written, a story idea takes its originality from the writer’s personality, values, imagination, and life experiences. Much like a well-developed character looks at the world from a distinct point of view, a story takes life from the one who fashions it.
Where does a writer find the idea and concept that meets the specifications for a high concept novel? Are you willing to explore the following?
Expand your mind by getting alone. Turn off the noise and leave technology behind. Where do your thoughts take you?
Research Greek, Roman, and Celtic mythology. Can you take one of those story worlds and create a contemporary novel?
Visualize your novel as a film. Will it easily translate to the screen?
Explore scientific phenomena. Is there an incident or discovery that piques your interest?
How can you make the seemingly impossible credible?
Read a chapter in Proverbs. Now flip the life lesson.
Spend time with children. Free your imagination to mirror their minds and creativity.
What if everything you believe as truth is a lie? How could you expose it in a believable manner?
What personality types irritate you? How could you learn to like a person with those traits?
Create a new race of people. What are their values, appearance, culture, homes, jobs, etc., that is radically different from yours?
Rewrite the ending of a fairy tale. How would you change the plot?
What disturbs you? What would it take for that incident/happening to affect you positively?
This is perhaps the hardest … What is an original idea?
Not every novel will be termed high concept, but a wise writer seeks to create a powerful story that resonates with a wide audience.
DiAnn Mills is a bestselling author who believes her readers should expect an adventure. She is a storyteller and creates action-packed, suspense-filled novels to thrill readers. Her titles have appeared on the CBA and ECPA bestseller lists; won two Christy Awards; and been finalists for the RITA, Daphne Du Maurier, Inspirational Readers’ Choice, and Carol award contests.
DiAnn is a founding board member of the American Christian Fiction Writers, a member of Advanced Writers and Speakers Association, Mystery Writers of America, Sisters in Crime, and International Thriller Writers. She is the director of the Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Writers Conference, Mountainside Retreats: Marketing, Speakers, Nonfiction and Novelist with social media specialist Edie Melson where she continues her passion for helping other writers be successful. She speaks to various groups and teaches writing workshops around the country.
Connect with DiAnn here: www.diannmills.com
The Consistent Grace of Barry Sanders by Steven C. Harms
THE WRITER’S PLAYBOOK
Barry Sanders. The greatest running back in NFL history (calm down Browns and Cowboys fans). The forever pride of the Detroit Lions. Electric. An athlete absolutely worth the price of admission. Slashing, spinning, juking, power-running, twisting, lunging, and whatever other contortions he needed to make to succeed on a football field. Over a 10-year career, he scrambled his way to over 15,000 rushing yards, 109 touchdowns, 8 All-Pro selections, 10 1000-yard seasons, 10 Pro Bowls, NFL Rookie of the Year, 4 consecutive 1500-yard seasons (only player ever to do that), MVP in 1997, and Hall-of-Fame Inductee. The accolades could go on…and on.
John Teerlinck, the Minnesota Vikings defensive line coach in 1994, said that the only way they could figure out how to simulate his abilities during their practices was to have the defensive linemen chase chickens around the field.
He was poetry in motion, and I had a perfect seat as a front office executive of the Lions from 1994 until Barry’s sudden retirement following the 1998 season. I got to know him during my time there and I never met a professional athlete humbler and kinder than this man. For all his celebrity and stardom, he’s lived an unassuming life with a consistent character of grace. He was the same man on and off the field during his career, and if you ever watched him, his character never wavered. Look up any number of his touchdowns and you’ll see him calmly give the football to the referee after every single one. Never spiked the ball, never called attention to himself. Grace.
I bring up Barry not to call out that I was fortunate to know him and work with him, but to shine a light on consistency of character. He never did anything out of character and interacted with anyone around him with the same demeanor, whether you were a fellow player or the woman at the supermarket checkout.
As writers, we should take note of Barry’s character consistency. As we all know, when we introduce and develop the people who populate our stories, it’s vitally important to keep consistency with each’s character. Readers can easily sniff out a faux moment when one of our characters says or does something that’s, well, out-of-character. It’s a major distraction if there was no particular reason why he/she would do that other than you, the writer, needed something to occur and used the wrong character to facilitate that plot moment.
I’m not suggesting fictional characters can’t change throughout a story, but substantial character shifts without a change agent (as examples an accident or being victimized) should cause you to be circumspect. Pay attention to a character’s reaction, action, verbalizations and thought process. A character can’t be a science flunky in Chapter 2 yet figure out the forensics in Chapter 34. And I’d argue that it’s not necessarily as glaring as the previous sentence, but rather it’s the subtleties around consistent character detail that make a story believable.
The character of each character, so to speak, is a crucial element. An effective means for consistency’s sake is to develop a back story for each one by taking a deep dive into what made them who they are. Once you have that, writing their moments within your story makes it flow so much easier. Actors do this so that by the time they appear on stage or film, the actor knows everything about their character’s past, so they perform in the present at a believable and consistent level. Writing is the same exercise. So, if one of your pivotal plot moments doesn’t fit with any character, then either ditch that plot line or reconstitute one of your characters. You’ll find the plot moment you want goes amazingly well using the right character doing/saying/reacting at the right time with the right reason.
One final note, because it’s a story of the consistent grace of Barry Sanders that only myself and one other person experienced. During my third or fourth year, I used to hold a private event with a sizeable number of Lions sponsors and fans on a weekly basis to “talk football” with our radio color analyst – dinner, discussion, and then Q&A. That event occurred with regularity during the season specifically on a Tuesday night because that was the player’s off-day during the week, and we always wanted one of them to make an appearance.
I had bugged Barry about participating and giving me just one night. Understand it was usually the second or third tier guys that would do this. Once in awhile we’d get a solid starter, but mostly it was the guys that didn’t have the spotlight. My cajoling finally worked with Barry, and he agreed to appear at one of them sometime around mid-November. Once he agreed I suggested we can arrange to have him picked up at home and then brought back afterward but he told me ‘No,’ that he’ll just drive over to the stadium and meet me at my office, which he did, showing up on time and dressed in a nice suit and tie (I didn’t ask him to wear that). I had one other employee assist – a young guy from our public relations department named James.
The evening went spectacular as you can imagine. Barry toughed out about an hour talking and taking questions. At the end of the program, James and I walked him back to my office. It was a cold night and James said he’d run out to the parking lot and grab Barry’s car to warm it up and bring it to the curb near my office. As James exited with the car keys, Barry and I had some nice time together just asking questions about family and the like. Eventually we both noticed that James hadn’t returned. Awkward minutes went by and finally James reappeared, sweating, head down, and clearly shaken. Long story short – he had accidentally broken the car key off in the door (yes, this was before remote starts were around).
In classic Barry Sanders fashion, the Pro-Bowl, MVP, multi-million-dollar superstar NFL running back simply told him that it was okay, and he’ll have it attended to the next day with his car dealer, then asked if James would be kind enough to take him home using his own car.
Humble grace. He didn’t spike the ball. He stayed consistent. Never broke character.
Steve
Steven C. Harms is a professional sports, broadcast and digital media business executive with a career spanning over thirty years across the NBA, NFL, and MLB. He’s dealt with Fortune 500 companies, major consumer brands, professional athletes, and multi-platform integrated sports partnerships and media advertising campaigns.
He’s an accomplished playwright having written and produced a wildly successful theatrical production which led him to tackling his debut novel, Give Place to Wrath, the first in the Roger Viceroy detective series. The second book, The Counsel of the Cunning, is due out in fall of 2021.
A native of Wisconsin, he graduated from the University of Wisconsin–La Crosse. He now resides in Oxford, Michigan, a small, rural suburb of Detroit.
Case Status by W.C. Gordon
FORENSIC FILES
The following is an except from the novel The Detective Next Door.
“On Tuesday, November 8th , 2016 at approximately 0720 hours, officers reported to 16 Hibiscus Dr. in reference to a report of a stolen vehicle. Contact was made with the victim who advised that his blue 2016 BMW 330i was stolen by an unknown suspect(s) sometime overnight. No forced entry was noted and the victim stated that the vehicle was unlocked and the keys were inside.”
Every follow up investigative narrative starts the same: A brief synopsis of the incident. This particular synopsis, like many, makes me want to punch the victim.
“During the afternoon hours of 11/8/16, I was assigned this case to further investigate.” That means that this idiot, I mean victim, and his lack of wherewithal to lock his car and not leave the keys inside is now my problem. It’s referred to as a “victim assisted crime” in law enforcement and it’s annoying.
It’s the usual script with these people.
Victim: “Detective, why was I targeted?”
Me: “You weren’t targeted. The suspects were only looking for unlocked vehicles that may have had the keys left inside.” Translation: If you locked your vehicle, it would still be parked in your driveway.
Victim: “What is the police department doing about this?”
Me: “We have increased patrols in areas that are repeatedly targeted in an effort to deter future crimes.” Translation: Apart from holding your hand while you lock your car and remind you on a daily basis to not leave valuable stuff in plain sight, we’re kind of out of ideas on how to prevent this from happening. You’re the reason why my insurance premiums are high.
Victim: “How many agencies have you resourced to recover my car? I love that car. My golf clubs were in the back. I love those clubs.”
Me: “Sir, we work very closely with other agencies and utilize a multitude of investigative resources in efforts to locate and recover your vehicle. We have automated license plate readers located throughout the region which will notify me if there is a sighting of your vehicle, and the South Florida Task Force, which specializes in stolen vehicles, has been made aware of this particular incident.” Translation: Your car is probably in a chop shop in Hialeah or in a shipping container on its way to Dubai. Again, if you locked your car we wouldn’t be having this conversation.
Victim: “I worry that whoever stole my car will come back and target my house. Maybe even me, my wife, or my kids.”
Me: “Sir, I can assure you that this was not personal. The suspects were only looking for unsecured vehicles and happened upon yours. They will not be back to target your home.” Translation: These mutts don’t even know what neighborhood they were in, sometimes not even the town, let alone be able to find your house in particular. Some kid was pulling on door handles hoping to find one that some idiot was careless enough to leave unlocked with the keys in it. You’re that idiot, sir.
Me: “Sir, if I may ask: Why were your keys inside of your vehicle?” I already know the answer.
Victim: “Oh, I always leave the keys in the cupholder so I know where they’re at and can find them.”
Bingo. That’s not the first time and sure as hell won’t be the last time that I have been told that. It never ceases to amaze me though.
Me: “Sir, have you considered a hook in the garage to hang the keys? Maybe a dish on the stand by the front door?” Translation: Anywhere but inside the car you big dumb dummy!
Victim: “Well Detective, hindsight is 20/20 isn’t it?”
Me: “Of course, sir.” I say as I raise an eyebrow that to any reasonable person would be interpreted as a subtle screw you.
As I leave the victim, I let him know that I will be making all efforts to recover his vehicle in a timely fashion and list all the resources that will be utilized. I assure him that I will not rest until I personally find and return his vehicle, letting him know this case is my top priority.
When I get around to returning to the office after grabbing lunch, getting a coffee, picking up a shirt and slacks from TJ Maxx, getting the wife some flowers from Publix and myself a W.C. Gordon 18 bottle of Knob Creek from the liquor store next to it, I sit down at my desk and type the following: “Based on my investigation, I have exhausted all possible investigative leads at this time. Due to there being no known suspect(s), witnesses or investigative leads, I will be reclassifying this case from active to inactive until new investigative leads become known. Case status – Inactive.” Done and on to the next waste of time.
W.C. Gordon is a cop, veteran, and author of the novel The Detective Next Door. His writing is influenced by his personal experiences in the military and in law enforcement, which he then mixes with bourbon and dark humor. He lives at his home in South Florida with his wife and dog.
Novel Malpractice: Coma by Ronda Wells
In all honesty, at times the use of coma (disorders of consciousness) in television and movies can be laughable. A character on a soap opera awakens dramatically after years in a deep coma and talks perfectly with no confusion.
Right.
You may know this, but Robin Cook’s second novel Coma is considered the genesis of a new suspense genre called medical thrillers. I might argue that the first medical thriller was Andromeda Strain by another physician-writer, Michael Crichton, which involved a group of doctors trying to discover anything to destroy an alien germ species fast killing off humans. Interestingly, Crichton later directed the movie Coma.
The designations of light, medium and deep coma are outdated even if still descriptive. Coma is defined as a full loss of consciousness and/or a Glasgow Coma Scale of 8 or less. Coma is not the same as sleep. If someone drops a bucket of ice on you while you’re asleep (unaided by medications, illegal drugs, or alcohol), you’ll respond. A person in a coma won’t react to that stimulus and they won’t wake up and curse you, either.
Think of coma as the brain deciding to hit PAUSE. Like the dreaded whirling icon that says your computer no longer responds to input. The computer (your brain) is on and sort of working but doesn’t respond to the cursor (your body).
Someone in a deep coma for weeks, months or years does not awaken to full alertness, although there are rare Rip Van Winkle exceptions. In 1996, Gary Dockery, a Tennessee policeman had been in a seven-year coma—not a persistent vegetative state. At times he moved his eyes in response to questions, so he was in a minimally conscious state. After a high fever, Gary abruptly came out his come to full awareness. He recognized and talked with his wife and two sons, even though both were now teenagers. Dockery remained awake for eighteen hours, gradually sank back into a coma and unfortunately died a year later.
The more common outcome for persistent vegetative state is like that of French soccer star John-Pierre Adams, who spent thirty-nine years in a coma after an anesthetic error during knee surgery. He finally passed away on September 6, 2021. Patients who receive good nursing care can survive decades in a PVS.
Coma in adults is tracked using the Glasgow Coma Scale, developed in 1974 by two British neurosurgeons at the University of Glasgow. One of the two, Dr. Bryan Jennett, helped coin the term vegetative state—which led to the unfortunate term “vegetables.” Drs. Jennett and Teasdale took three objective components of consciousness—eyes, verbal, and motor (muscle movement, not your car). The scale was intended to provide doctors with a standardized assessment of coma and predict how a patient might do.
A fabulous resource including videos, charts and explanations can be found at www.glasgowcomascale.org. The site is user-friendly even for non-clinical writers. The prognostic charts can be used with the age of your adult patient and coma level to predict the risk of death and favorable outcome. Adjust your story as needed to get a more probable result.
Remember: After four months in a coma, eighty-five percent of patients do not recover.
Glasgow Coma Scale testing is the same for all over age fourteen. A score of fifteen is normal. A score less than three indicates severe, deep cessation of brain function and likely predicted brain death. Problems with the GCS are in patients who can’t speak, either due to young age or another condition such as a stroke, that impairs speech and/or movement. In general, the score is pretty accurate at determining how severe the brain injury or insult has been and the outcome.
Problems crop up though for example in children. Babies and toddlers can’t yet talk for the verbal assessment. Another difficulty would be in people with strokes or other inability to move. In general, though, the score is pretty accurate at determining the severity of a brain injury and the eventual prognosis.
The GCS isn’t used for children under age fourteen. A more recent modified scale is used, the pediatric GCS (pGCS). For more specifics, www.rainbowrehab.com has a great article, “Understanding the Pediatric Glasgow Coma Scale.” UpToDate has a nice side-by-side comparison chart of the GCS and pGCS—google “pediatric coma scale.”
During my internship, a three-year-old girl drowned and was resuscitated by a cop who dove into a dirty, leaf-filled, half-empty swimming pool and rescued her. When she arrived at the ER and I intubated her, her GCS was quite low. (The pGCS hadn’t been developed yet). The PICU staff doctors feared she had suffered severe hypoxic brain damage due to the length of time she was in the pool. It was a cold-weather drowning, which changed the prognosis.
That same night I was on call, and while suctioning the child’s breathing tube one of the PICU nurses shouted for me. “Her eyes are open!”
I ran over, and the little girl stared right at me. She correctly shook her head to simple questions. She came off the ventilator within a couple of days and after a few days, went home. Years later, I spotted her wedding announcement in the newspaper.
That’s the best part of medicine.
Now for the confusing part. Two states of consciousness are often called coma but aren’t. True coma means you are unresponsive. Frequently, patients recover to a low level of consciousness called Minimally Conscious State.
MCS is diagnosed only after a minimum of one month.
These patients respond to verbal commands or obnoxious things like my ice example above.
They may say simple words.
Their eyes may move if someone speaks to them. After a year in MCS, recovery is slim.
Outcomes are better for MCS after a traumatic brain injury.
Persistent Vegetative State is the one talked about most in the media and the courts. These patients are not conscious but can move (without purpose), respond to pain, open their eyes, and even have a sleep/wake cycle.
PVS is defined as such after it has lasted for at least one month.
Chronic PVS is defined as PVS lasting more than a year after a traumatic brain injury OR three months after a non-traumatic brain injury.
PVS patients are capable of spontaneous breathing.
No reports exist of anyone in PVS recovering after three years, and most expire from infection.
Children in PVS for three or more months may recover but do not regain functional skills.
PVS and MCS can overlap, and patients may fluctuate from one state to the other.
Caveat: Locked-in syndrome is NOT a form of coma. Locked-in syndrome is paralysis due to a neurological disorder. The brain is fully functional and awake, however only the patient’s eyes can move vertically and blink or in the worst case, not at all.
Right now, there is no treatment for coma, PVS, and MCS other than supportive care. Brain death occurs in a comatose person whose brain activity has ceased. Standard testing protocols exist for that but vary from country to country and even state to state.
What do fiction writers need to know about coma?
Don’t use coma from weeks to years as a cliché device to keep your character out of touch then have a sudden awakening to full consciousness and/or function. As a rule of thumb, the longer the coma, the longer it takes to recover. Recovery follows a gradient from less aware and less function to more fully aware and able to move.
Most patients in a full coma lasting over one month will not return to fully normal functioning.
Brief loss of consciousness, 1-3 days up to a week after a significant blow to the head, can work. The briefer the faster, usually. They may still have other symptoms depending on what caused the coma.
As always, kids recover quicker than adults. Elderly adults recover the slowest.
The lower the GCS or pGCS, the worse your character’s likely outcome, although exceptions apply, as in my case above.
Drowning in cold water changes prognosis.
Coma length is highly unpredictable.
Patients with traumatic injuries have better outcomes than those with non-traumatic reasons.
Patients don’t recover as often with overdose, poisoning, prolonged hypoxia due to drowning or cardiac arrest, e.g., brain infection (encephalitis), or metabolic problems such as diabetic coma and other issues.
Chronic PVS has the worst outcomes. These patients generally don’t recover although as always, rare exceptions exist.
Walking and talking are highly complex neurological tasks and are the final step in a full recovery that can take months to years. Not all coma survivors get these skills back.
We writers love synonyms, but when using the following words to write about a character with coma, remember they also have a clinical
Lethargy: hard to stay awake (medical term is aroused but in fiction that could be confusing depending on your genre)
Obtunded: Responds to stimuli other than pain
Stupor: Responds only to pain
Coma: unresponsive to pain
Avoid stilted dialogue! Doctors and nurses would not say, “His Glasgow Coma Scale is eight.” They would just say, in the right context, “His Glasgow is eight.”
Deeper Dive: Check out the free bookshelf at www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov. Search for “Level of Consciousness” by Suzie C. Tindall (chapter 57 of a book.)
If you have any questions or need further help, please feel free to contact me via my website.
An award-winning writer, Ronda Wells hails from the Midwest and is married to a physician. Board-certified in Family Practice, she switched to Occupational Medicine after a stint in private practice. For the last thirty years, she has been a medical director in the health reinsurance industry and case-manages transplants. She has written and published medical policy and guidelines for multiple companies under their name, but her real love has always been fiction. She has just received an offer on her first novel, Harvest of Hope, and is developing a medical suspense series.
Exercise an Attitude of Gratitude by Bryan Robinson, Ph.D
Writing Resilience
The day-to-day annoyances we complain about are suddenly trivial when we face a major catastrophe. How many of us gripe and complain about minor inconveniences when our lives are already rich and full?
After a writing project wraps, authors sometimes move on to the next one without taking time to savor the successful completion of the one they left behind. Taking time to underscore our completions and successes creates a deeper sense of fulfillment.
The gratitude exercise helps us see the flip side of the narrow scope that our minds build without our knowledge. Make a list of the many things you’re grateful for—the people, places and things that make life worth living and bring you comfort and joy. After you’ve made your list, meditate on your appreciation for each item and visualize anything you’ve taken for granted—things that if you didn’t have would leave your life empty. As you practice this exercise, notice that you are more aware of how full your life already is.
Today’s Takeaway
Count your blessings for all that you have on this day, seize it and live it fully, and don’t let pettiness distract you from the bigger, more important things in life.
From Daily Writing Resilience by Bryan Robinson. © 2018 by Bryan Robinson. Used by permission from Llewellyn Worldwide, Ltd., www.Llewellyn.com.
Bryan E. Robinson is a licensed psychotherapist and author of two novels and 40 nonfiction books. He applies his experiences to crafting insightful nonfiction self-help books and psychological thrillers. His multi-award winning southern noir murder mystery, Limestone Gumption, won the New Apple Book Medal for best psychological suspense, the Silver IPPY Award for outstanding mystery of the year, the Bronze Foreword Review INDIEFAB Book Award for best mystery, and the 2015 USA Regional Excellence Book Award for best fiction in the Southeast.
His most recent release is Daily Writing Resilience: 365 Meditations and Inspirations for Writers (Llewellyn Worldwide, 2018). He has written for Psychology Today, First for Women, and Natural Health, and his blogs and columns for writers appear in Southern Writer’s Magazine. He is a consulting editor for The Big Thrill, the online magazine for International Thriller Writers. His long-selling book, Chained to the Desk, is now in its 3rd Edition (New York University Press, 1998, 2007, 2014). His books have been translated into thirteen languages, and he has appeared on every major television network: 20/20, Good Morning America, ABC’s World News Tonight, NBC Nightly News, NBC Universal, The CBS Early Show, CNBC’s The Big Idea. He hosted the PBS documentary, Overdoing It: How to Slow Down and Take Care of Yourself.
Part 3: Slave to rules: Write first. Worry later. by Angela K. Durden
PUNCTUATION IS POWER
A panda walks into a bar. He eats, shoots, and leaves. Or does he eat shoots and leaves?
Yes, punctuation is powerful, changing meanings even in punchlines, suggesting titles for fun books on punctuation, and starting bar fights.
For the newspaper business, technical papers, scientific journals, legal writs, etcetera, style manuals keep everybody understanding what those marks mean and the weight they carry within that discipline. Working with large teams producing massive content, style manuals take a lot of guesswork out of writing thus allowing the employee to do more in less time, and lessens the work load of editors. Nothing wrong with style manuals in these cases.
In novel writing, though, it matters not which manual of style one may quote as the authority on punctuation because — and this is important — though some masquerade as hard and fast rules, to the novelist these should be mere suggestions.
When it comes to writing novels, the rules can and sometimes must change. Please do not write with obeying any particular style manual you have in mind. You’re wasting time. Whether your writing style is as a pantser or an outliner, the story will change frequently. Sentences, whole paragraphs, and chapters will be rewritten, inverted, moved, or scrapped.
Your careful punctuation that meant something in the original writing, may not work with the rewritten version. In fact, as things change, you probably won’t change the punctuation to the current use of the sentence. Thus your meaning could be changed to the opposite of what was intended or lost entirely.
But you won’t see it. Why not? Because there is not one writer on this planet who can remember where all their edits are. Case in point:
I recently finished the editing of a novel by a professional writer with over thirty years of servicing large corporate clients. He is very good at what he does. The version of his first novel I received was number 23. I was assured there wouldn’t be much that needed doing to it. Alrighty, then. Let’s get to it.
Now, while I loved his literary writing style, I was lost in the story. What year was it now? When did this character come in the room? Wait, didn’t the main character already say that? Then why is he repeating it here? Wait, didn’t the main character say just the opposite of that earlier? How old was he and when? Whoopsie, which girlfriend’s name is he calling? Is he in the room with the former girlfriend and the current one?
And his punctuation was pretty good…until it wasn’t. He’d changed so much (23rd version, remember?) that what he’d previously punctuated now needed to be refined.
Whoa. Whew.
Remember, punctuation exists to serve words. Words do not exist to serve punctuation. Every story has its own pacing. Your punctuation should serve your pacing, and should help define how each character speaks, thinks, and moves.
And that is why novelists need an editor who is not rigid with the rules and understands — and can even help shape — your style. A good editor doing the job properly can help you find that style. Let them.
Sounds weird, I know, but Part 4 will discuss how to train a reader to your style once you find it.
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