This Crazy Writing Life: Dipping Our Toes In The Amazon Part One — Beware The Piranhas!

By Steven Womack

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It’s borderline too late to say this, but Happy 2025! As at the beginning of every year, I have high hopes and cautious optimism. We’ll see how long that lasts.

With this installment of This Crazy Writing Life, we’re going to start digging into the real down-in-the-weeds details of marketing our books in the indie-pubbing space. And one of the reasons this column is a little late this month is that I decided to begin this exploration by tackling the ads on the platform that we’re all going to use the most: Amazon.

And that’s the problem.

As I alluded in previous columns, anything having anything to do with Amazon is by its very definition and at its very core hard to understand and navigate. Much of the inner workings of Amazon are unpredictable and so far behind-the-scenes as to be almost invisible. Even the experts—and believe me, I’m not one but I’ve read many—agree that sometimes things just seem to happen without any rhyme or reason. Navigating the Amazon advertising platform can be overwhelming, especially if you’re a newbie in the digital marketing arena. After all, Amazon has been the fastest-growing digital ad platform in the world for the past few years and is on its way to passing Google and Meta (or as we old timers call it, Facebook), and you don’t get to that point by being simple and low maintenance. 

While I’m not a beginner in digital marketing, it has taken me longer than usual find my focus and to figure out where to begin.

So where is that starting place?

Let’s begin by looking at a few basics of digital advertising. First, much digital advertising is based on a bidding system. On a lot, if not most, platforms, you don’t just buy an ad and it magically appears on somebody’s screen. You create your ad account, create the ad, and then you figure out how much you’re willing to spend to get your ad out there and you compete to beat out all the other guys who are trying to get their ads out there.

There are some advertising platforms where you can just buy an ad and it appears (FreeBooksy, EReader news, Robinreads, etc.). But on Amazon, you gotta jump into the scrum and fight. And it’s not just the size of your bid that determines whether you get picked, but we’ll get to that later.

There are basically two kinds of ads to bid on: CPC and CPM. You’re only charged for CPC (Cost Per Click) ads when somebody actually clicks on your ad and goes to the link embedded in the ad. If your ad is served up to a gazillion people and nobody clicks on it, you aren’t charged (but believe me, that’s not what you want).

CPM (Cost Per Thousand Impressions) ads are ones where you’re charged—as the name implies—every time your ad appears on a thousand screens.

So what’s the real difference here? If you’re trying to sell one specific product in a highly targeted fashion, then CPC is the way to go. CPC ads focus on user engagement (click here to see how Sudzo Dishwashing Detergent can give new meaning to your life!). The goal is to make a sale, or if not a sale, then some other kind of conversion (another term we’ll get to later).

A CPM ad, on the other hand, saturates screens everywhere and brings broader visibility to your brand or product. When you want your product to become a household name, then go with CPM.

Fortunately, you don’t have to agonize over the choice. Unlike Facebook or BookBub, Amazon is solely a pay per click advertising platform. You’re only charged when somebody clicks on your ad. What this means is that if there’s something wrong or off on your ad (keywords, targeting, relevancy, etc.), then neither your nor Amazon is going to make a penny off it. It’s in Amazon’s best interest and yours to get the right ad to the right people. So make sure you have a compelling, engaging cover. Your book’s title should reach out and grab readers. Your Amazon book description should absolutely sparkle. And you have to do the research and hard work to make sure you’re targeting the right audience.

And before I come off as somebody who’s constantly going medieval on Amazon (and I’m not; almost all of the money I make as an indie pubber comes from Amazon, so I’m a fan), let me point out one great benefit of Amazon ads: they’re easy to create. You don’t have to be a Mad Men caliber ad copywriter, and you don’t have to be a brilliant graphic designer. Just go with the Amazon model and you’ll be okay.

So what determines an ads success? I’ve already mentioned your book title and the cover. What else comes into play?

Reviews are critical. Before your ad even has a chance, you’ve got to have the best reviews possible—an average of between four and five stars is best—and as many of them as possible. This can be a challenge, since one of your primary goals for advertising in the first place is to get more reviews.

Price is a big one as well. One of the reasons the indie pub space has grown so much in the last couple of decades is that indie pubbers are willing to make their price points incredibly competitive. When I see an eBook edition of a book by a famous author published by one of the Big 5 New York Publishers (or are we down to 4? 3?) and its price is nearly that of the trade paperback edition, I head to the library to check it out for free. Also keep in mind that Amazon ads are going to primarily target people who probably don’t know you as an author. If you’re an unknown author and your eBook costs more than a lunch combo at Steak ‘n Shake, that’s a big hill to get over.

So how are those ads served up to potential customers? For indie authors, there are three types of campaigns available on Amazon.

The first type of campaign is Sponsored Products. Sponsored Product ads are the most popular and effective way to get started, especially if you’re advertising a single title. Sponsored Product ads are the ones that pop when you type something into the search bar. You get the search results, but there are also books that are in a box and have the word Sponsored somewhere around the book in little bitty type. There’s a little grey circle with an “i” it right next to the word. Then there are the “Also Boughts,” where the Amazon algorithm served up somebody’s paid ad to you based on what other customers have purchased.

By far, Sponsored Product ads are what most indie authors deploy. For one thing, Sponsored Product ads give you the most data and analytics on your ad’s performance. You’ll get data on the number of impressions, clicks, orders, sales volume, and if you’re enrolled in Kindle Unlimited, then you get reports on KENP (Kindle Edition Normalized Pages) and the estimated KENP royalties for every single target in the campaign (if that acronym is new to you, just remember that authors who enroll a book in the Kindle Unlimited program are paid by the number of pages that a subscriber reads when they download your book).

The second type of campaign is Sponsored Brands. Underneath that broad umbrella, there are a couple of options: product collection ads and video ads. For authors with more than three books in a series, the titles are displayed on a “carousel,” along with a headline, a picture or your smiling mug, and some other image.

For the video ads in a Sponsored Brand campaign, you’re advertising one specific book and, obviously, a video is your chief marketing tool. Think book trailer…

So how are Sponsored Brand ads served up to a potential customer? If you’re using a Product Collection ad, these show up on prime Amazon real estate—the top of the search pages. You have the option of your author photo being there, or a logo for your imprint, along with a headline and an optional image, and then your three books.

Video ads, on the other hand, are usually shown on the product page, much like a Sponsored Product ad.

I say usually because Amazon likes to experiment around and try these ads in different places, delivered in different ways. As always, Amazon is fluctuating in a kind of work-in-progress fashion.

The last type of Amazon ad campaign is Lockscreen Ads. Lockscreen ads are those ads that fill up your screen when you turn on your Kindle or when your screen saver comes on. These are big and bold, but they also show up when your potential customer is not really searching for something new to read. Sponsored Product and Sponsored Brand ads show up when someone is actually looking for something to buy; Lockscreen ads show up when they’ve gone to get another beer…

But the main drawback of Lockscreen ads is that they’re impossible to precisely target. With the other types of ad campaigns, you can specify who the ads go to all the way down to sub-sub-subcategories in Amazon. The reporting’s not as detailed either, so it’s harder to assess the effectiveness of a Lockscreen ads.

Okay, have you had enough for one session? I know this stuff is overwhelming and it’s best to take it in small chunks. Next time, This Crazy Writing Life will continue on with this exploration of Amazon until we’ve got a foundation to work with. But keep in mind, there are entire books written about Amazon ads. It’s way more than we can cover in a monthly column in Killer Nashville Magazine.

But we can get started. Thanks again for playing along.

This Crazy Writing Life: Okay, Let’s Talk About The 800-Pound Gorilla: Marketing

By Steven Womack

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Bold statement time. Ready? Here it comes…

I’d rather write five novels than market one.

I think that probably goes against the grain for most people. After all, writing’s hard. A novel is long, a grinding marathon of page after empty page that goes on months, sometimes years, before you reach the finish line.

And yet I’d rather run five of those marathons than try and sell one.

When I say that, I think there must be something wrong with me. For some reason or other, I’m uncomfortable blowing my own horn, hawking my own work. For some people, it comes easily, like drawing a breath. For me, it’s always seemed…

Well, unseemly.

When I was young, one of my best buddies got us both a summer job selling vacuum cleaners door-to-door. We got about two days of training (I still remember the spiel: The Bison, the world’s most complete home maintenance system. Guaranteed to protect your home and furniture, conserve your time and health…) and we were then turned loose on an unsuspecting neighborhood.

I think I lasted three days.

A couple of decades later, when I finally sold (there’s that word again) my first novel, I assumed the publisher would take care of all the marketing. They’d set up book signings for me, take out ads, arrange for reviews. All I had to do was cash the checks and write my next book.

Ah, what a naïve little grasshoppah I was.

Truth is, long before the genteel gentlemanly world of 19th century publishing morphed into the Darwinian dog-eat-dog cutthroat business it’s become in the 21st century, writers had to bite the bullet and learn to sell their own stuff. Now, in the age where the number of indie-pubbed writers has long surpassed the number of traditionally published authors, it’s more important than ever that writers grasp the fundamentals of marketing. When every writer is essentially a small shopkeeper slinging pages out of a tiny storefront, unless you’re willing to promote your own work, you’re never even going to get noticed, let alone make a living.

Last September, I found myself in St. Petersburg Beach, Florida at the annual Novelists Inc. conference. I’ve written about Novelists Inc. before in This Crazy Writing Life. The beauty of the Novelists Inc. conference is it’s all business. You don’t get many seminars on developing character or finding your voice with these folks. But you will get in-depth seminars on indie audiobook production and negotiating foreign translation rights contracts.

At this conference, one of the best marketing seminars I ever attended was put on by Ricardo Fayet, who’s one of the four founders of Reedsy, a company that provides support and guidance for indie-pubbed authors, as well as being a gateway connecting freelancers with writers. If you don’t know these guys, just Google them and go to their website. It’s worth the trip.

Ricardo’s written two books on marketing for indie authors: How To Market A Book and Amazon Ads For Authors. I’ve got them both and they’re well worth the price.

Ricardo’s seminar at the conference did a deep dive into the underlying psychology of marketing and a few basic principles that indie authors need to learn and deploy. It’ll make the hell of marketing a little less hellish. Let’s take a brief look at what Ricardo described.

Principle #1: It’s cheaper to retain an existing reader than acquire a new one.

It costs five time as much to attract a new reader—in money and effort—than it does to keep an old one. That’s why series are so powerful in today’s marketplace. Whether you’re Jack Konrath writing 27 installments of his Jack Daniels series books, John D. MacDonald’s 21 Travis McGee novels or J.T. Ellison’s nine novels in her Lt. Taylor Jackson series, a series quite literally builds a brand that attracts readers and keeps them. Fayet even cited one series that’s run to 112 books.

What if you’re not into series? Then develop a style and voice that becomes as identifiable and as reliable as a series. Dick Francis wrote mostly standalones (outside of his four-book Sid Halley series), but his style and voice was so distinctive that when you pick up a Dick Francis book, it’s instantly identifiable as a Dick Francis book.

Principle #2: Product trumps marketing every time.

This principle embodies the notion that, over the long run, no amount of brilliant marketing will sell a bad book. You’ve got to write an amazing book to even have a chance of competing in the literary marketplace. Fayet cited the statistic that only seven percent of traditionally published books sell over 10,000 copies.

“You can’t sell a book if it isn’t good,” he noted.

Principle #3: Decay is inevitable.

“What’s working now isn’t guaranteed to work forever,” Fayet said. “In fact, it’s almost guaranteed to peter out at some point.” All marketing and promotion efforts and strategies eventually begin to lose their effectiveness. This principle doesn’t apply only to books. All products, sooner or later, need a marketing refresh. Interest wanes, attention moves on to other things.

And a sidebar to this notion is the 80/20 rule. Eighty percent of your results will come from twenty percent of your efforts. And you must constantly look ahead. If you focus solely on today’s marketing efforts and campaigns, then you won’t be prepared for when it all stops working.

Principle #4: Steady versus Explosive Marketing.

Steady, consistent marketing efforts will get you to a certain level of sales. But you may find you’ve hit a ceiling and you’re just not breaking through to the next level.

Explosive marketing, however, requires a different approach. It requires careful planning and execution, along with good timing. If spaced out properly, explosive marketing avoids fatigue and wearing out your audience. Finally, Fayet noted, it works best for highly targeted campaigns, and for many authors, that means being enrolled in Kindle Unlimited.

Principle #5: Volume x ROI.

This is kind of a big one, folks. Start by imagining the global audience of readers: millions.

Now imagine your audience: a tiny subset of millions.

So how do you reach and then grow your tiny subset. The best strategy is to start small and cheap. Maybe that’s Amazon ASIN ads or Facebook ads. This is a highly targeted strategy, where you aim to reach the people who already read your kind of book. This may not be a huge number of readers, but your Return On Investment (ROI) is potentially going to be pretty good.

Then you aim a little higher: BookBub Featured Deals, Meta A+ ads, then maybe on to digitally targeted ads, TV, even billboards and print ads.

But remember, with each step up the marketing ladder, you’re going to reach more people. But your conversion rate’s going to go down, along with your ROI. So if you want to broaden your reach, remember that with each new and larger strategy, it becomes harder to make your money back.

Principle #6: 10% of 1000=1% of 10,000…or why you don’t need to be chasing trends.

One of the most baffling questions for many writers is the question of writing to the market or chasing trends. Of course, we all want to tap into the popular zeitgeist. If there’s a demand for something in the marketplace, we all want to meet that demand. But especially in traditional publishing, the timeline for bringing a book to market may be so far out that the trend will have passed before your book can get out there.

Just remember, Cabbage Patch dolls, Beanie Babies, and Pet Rocks were once all the rage.

On the other hand, we all want to write for a growing market. But what if you occupy a bigger place in a smaller market? Fayet noted that 10% of 1000 readers is the same number of readers as 1% of a 10,000 reader market.

This is among the most complicated and convoluted decisions a writer must make. Sometimes it’s better to stay in your lane. Should we just ignore trends?

Fayet’s answer is “Of course not!” Trends signal a growing market, but you need to weigh your decision against several factors:

Can I expect to make more money in a new genre or a new kind of book? Would I be better off just delivering what I know my current readers want?

Can I expect my existing fans to follow me?

Can I keep my sanity and have a little fun by taking a new path?

Do I know the new genre well enough to dip my toe into it? Do I have the skill set?

Can I reasonably get in on the trend in time?

This is all complicated stuff… Marketing and promotion for writers can make writing look easy. But if you keep in mind Ricardo Fayet’s six principles every writer should let guide their careers, then this mine field might not be quite so treacherous.

In next month’s episode of This Crazy Writing Life, we’ll start taking deeper dives into specific marketing strategies.

I don’t know when this installment will be published in KN Magazine. I’m writing it before Christmas, so if it comes out before the holidays, have a great one. If it’s 2025 when you’re reading this, I hope this year’s your best one ever.

And thanks for coming along for the ride.

Keywords, Descriptions, Jacket Copy

By Dale T Phillips

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This topic is critical to success, and there are whole books on these particular subjects with different schools of thought about the best ways to include everything. Browse the Resources Appendix for further information. 

You’re going to have to be very aware of where your book fits in the publishing world (category), because you’ll need to add keywords (descriptive book tags) when you publish it. Each distributor allows you a certain number of keywords to include for your book, and of course you’ll want the best ones. These keywords are critical for helping readers find your books, because that’s what the big search engines use to locate the type of book you’re selling. The more your book comes up in a search on certain keywords, the more chances you have of someone checking it out. To sell more copies, learn what you need to keep your book search-term relevant. Search engines work on optimization, or SEO, which is why it’s so important your book show up under a search on that keyword. One great tool that you’ll want to look into for finding these in depth is (KDP) Publisher Rocket. Some say you should use all the characters allowed, and fill every category. 

Descriptions and Jacket Copy are important as well, and they’re used to quickly tell a browser if it’s the type of book they’ll be interested in. More detail than the tagline, they are included as part of the book listing online, and for a print book, on the back cover (jacket) at the top. Some distributors use two descriptions: a short one, about three sentences long, and a slightly longer one.

Here’s the elements you should include:

• Hook the readers right away with a compelling first two lines. 

• Make it easy and exciting to read. Readers won’t spend much time; they’ll skim quickly to see if it’s what they want.

• Establish what’s at stake and make it important.

• Only a character or two, no more. 

• Don’t reveal everything. Leave them wanting to know what happens.

To determine whether your descriptions are good, look for book descriptions of successful books that make you want to check out the book. What picture do they paint in just a few words that make it sound compelling? You’ll want descriptions for your books that sound similar. Get help from your team, Beta readers, writing friends, etc. on what does well.

A disadvantage of Smashwords as a distributor is that the keywords and descriptions are the same for all distribution channels. Not a deal breaker, but important to realize.  And in Amazon, the title, subtitle, and description are all searchable.

The Indie Pubbing Journey Continues—Part Four: Navigating The Distribution Maze

By Steven Womack

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So you’ve written your book, rewritten your book (any number of times), and like the good little professional you aspire to be, you’ve paid an outside copyeditor to get the book in the best shape it can possibly be. You’ve studied the market, maybe queried a few agents (most of whom never even responded), done your due diligence, and decided that in today’s publishing environment, your best bet is to go the indie route.

You’ve done a deep dive into the freelance market that’s sprung up in the last decade to serve the needs of indie pubbers, and you’ve found a cover designer you absolutely love. You’ve either chosen an app to format your book or you’ve decided to spend the bucks to outsource the technical stuff.

Little by little, piece by piece, your dream is coming together. You can see the finish line—pub date—and you get a shaky, excited feeling deep in our gut that this is finally becoming…

Real.

Hundreds of hours of work, planning, following months or even years of writing your book. You’re excited, but at the same time, exhausted emotionally and maybe even physically. But you’re nearing the end, right? The finish line’s in sight.

Hold your horses, cowpokes. The reality is, you’re just getting started.

You think writing that book was hard? Try getting the book out there, grasshoppah…

This month’s installment of This Crazy Writing Life is going to—as the head of IT at the film school where I used to teach often said—start to start the process of getting your book out there. There are two main avenues by which you’re going to get your book into the hands of readers: eBooks and print books.

We’re going to start by tackling the question of eBooks, since as we established in an earlier edition of this column, that’s how you’re going to reach the largest number of readers and bring in the largest number of bucks. And in the world of eBook distribution, there is only one question to answer which will determine your eBook distribution strategy.

Are you going to go wide or are you not going to go wide?

What does that even mean, in English?

Okay, time for another [brief] history lesson. As the eBook revolution ramped up in earnest in the first decade of the 21st Century, there was a certain wild west feel to it. There was the Kindle e-reader from Amazon, then Sony came out with the Sony Reader in 2006, and Barnes & Noble came out with the Nook in 2009. So there were three different mainstream e-readers out there, each with different specs and technical requirements.

Then a whole slew of eBook distributors came online. There was Amazon (of course), and then Apple got in the game, followed by Rokuten Kobo, which is a Canadian eBook retailer owned by a Japanese company, known primarily as Kobo. Over the years, scads of other companies emerged as eBook retailers, distributors, or publishers—Tolino, Barnes & Noble, Overdrive, Books-A-Million, Hoopla, etc. etc. etc.

It was a complicated landscape. The administrative load alone to distribute through all these channels was overwhelming.

So in 2008, a book marketing guru, publicist and novelist by the name of Mark Coker rolled out a company called Smashwords, which was the first eBook aggregator. Coker’s groundbreaking and innovative approach brought all these varied distribution outlets into one place. Now indie pubbers could sign up with Smashwords, pick the outlets they wanted to distribute to, and then upload one file to one place, rather than one file to fifteen places. Coker also wrote a number of reference guides on formatting eBooks to meet all the technical needs of the various distributors and did all the accounting and setup. They created tools and guides to help indie publishers navigate this complicated landscape. Smashwords uploaded to the outlets you picked, tracked incoming payments, even did tax reporting and bookkeeping, and distributed payments out to the individual authors and independent publishing companies, all for what was actually a reasonable and fair cut of the earnings.

Coker’s idea—and Smashwords—was wildly successful. Within a few years, they were distributing hundreds of thousands of eBooks.

In 2012, three young entrepreneurs—Kris Austin, Aaron Pogue, and Toby Nance—decided it was time for Smashwords to have a little competition. So they opened Draft2Digital (often shortened to D2D), headquartered in Oklahoma City. D2D took a similar approach as Smashwords, but streamlined some of the processes and offered up a competitive set of user-friendly tools to help indie author publish their books with enough time and energy left over to write more of them.

Ten years later, in 2022, Draft2Digital acquired Smashwords in a friendly deal that kept Coker on board as part of the team. Today, D2D is the 800-pound aggregating gorilla in the indie pub space.

So that, in a nutshell, is going wide. Get your book out there in as many different channels as possible and just wait for the tsunami of bucks headed your way.

What’s the alternative? And why would anyone want to consider it?

Enter Amazon, the exciting, attractive, funny, smart, creative person you’ve always wanted to date but found incredibly high-maintenance. In July 2014, Amazon rolled out Kindle Unlimited, a subscription service that for $9.99 a month gave you unlimited access (with a few restrictions) to Amazon’s entire library of books and audiobooks—as long as those books were enrolled in Kindle Select (in typical Amazon fashion, nothing’s ever easy or simple; if you’re an author you have to enroll your books in Kindle Select in order to get them into Kindle Unlimited). Think of it as Netflix or Spotify, only for books.

There isn’t time or space here to go into the convoluted history of the Kindle Unlimited program. If you’d like to do a deeper dive into that, here’s a link to an excellent article:

https://www.hiddengemsbooks.com/history-kindle-unlimited/

The important thing to remember is that the way KU paid authors has evolved over time. The first payment method was rife for scamming and bad behavior. Amazon tackled that and went into a second generation of KU and now they’re in the third. But basically, in laymen’s terms, when you check out a book in KU, there’s a little widget or something inside the file that enables Amazon to count the number of pages you’ve read (well, hello there Big Brother) and authors are paid a fraction of a fraction of a cent for each page.

Five or so years ago, when I decided to dip my toes into indie pubbing, I chose what I thought was the obvious best route. I created a D2D account and listed all my books on every channel possible. Then, not knowing any better, I started buying Amazon ads and BookBub ads (more on that in future installments) and promoting them on social media and my meager newsletter subscriber lists and doing everything I thought would move books.

The result? Bupkis…

Oh, occasionally I’d sell a book here and a book there, but it’s the understatement of the day to say I was disappointed.

A couple of years or this and I was really burning out. So I reached out to an acquaintance, a fellow Edgar winner who, like me, wrote books set in New Orleans. Julie Smith and I both came into print about the same time, were publishing at about the same level, and encountering the same career struggles. Where our paths diverged was when Julie fully embraced the indie publishing movement in the early days of the eBook revolution and turned her career around.

She began publishing under her own imprint—booksBnimble—and brought back her backlist and later new work. Then she branched out and started publishing other writers. A few years later, she opened up a book marketing division to help indie pubbed authors. I reached out to Julie and after careful thought, signed on with her company.

Julie’s got a marketing plan that won’t work for everyone. Standalone books are a tough sell, as are literary books, nonfiction, and memoirs. But if you’re writing genre novels—romances, mysteries—and you have a series with at least three books, then they’ve got a plan for you.

When she takes you on as a client, you’ve got to get with their program. And the first step is to pull your books down from every distribution channel and enroll them in Kindle Select. This sounds counterintuitive, but truthfully, within a couple of months, I was grossing four figures a month.

I’m running out of space here, but the moral of the story is, don’t discount Kindle Select/Unlimited just because you don’t like Amazon or think you’ll get better results with a shotgun approach. In next month’s issue of This Crazy Writing Life, we’ll take a deeper look into how you make all this work. Thanks again for playing along.

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Decades ago, when I lived in New Orleans and was a newspaper reporter during the first term of the wonderful Edwin Edwards, I learned a great local term: lagniappe. Lagniappe means “just a little something extra; a bonus.”

So here’s your lagniappe for this month’s column. I just read a fantastic book called Love In The Time of Self-Publishing: How Romance Writers Changed The Rules of Writing & Success by Christine M. Larson. It’s simultaneously a history and analysis of how publishing has changed since the 1980s and how romance writers were the first ones to understand these changes, adopt them, and beat the big publishers at their own game. Dr. Larsen is a professor of Journalism at the University of Colorado Boulder’s College of Media, Communication and Information, but don’t hold that against her. The book’s a bit academic at times, but it reads like a well-written story, one we’re all still right in the middle of. It’s well worth the time to read.

Why Book Signings Aren’t What They Used To Be

By Steven Womack

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Buckle up, Buttercup: it’s story time!

Today, I’m putting on my Professor Peabody hat and inviting you to join me in The Wayback Machine, where we’ll journey back thirty years or so, to a time when being a working novelist was a whole different gig that it is now.

I started my first novel when I was eighteen, which was entirely too young for anyone to think they had anything to say about anything. Still, the combination of youth and arrogance knows no bounds, so I pressed on, determined to be the great writer I knew I was somewhere inside. Now if I could only convince the rest of the world…

Then life took over. And in one of the great ironies of my life (and the older I get, the more convinced I am that irony is one of life’s more primordial forces), after starting my first novel at the age of eighteen, it would take me precisely eighteen more years to sell one.

Even after the sale, it took a couple of years to get the book out. Then, as now, the wheels of traditional publishing grind very slowly.

So in 1990, I became a published novelist. Not only that, my first novel was a hardback published by one of the great publishing houses of New York, St. Martin’s Press. And like all newly published novelists, my first concern was when can I start doing book signings!

I loved going to book signings, loved meeting authors who’d written real books. Bookstores were my happy place and now my dream of getting to go to my happy place from the other side of the signing table was coming true. My hometown, Nashville, was a wonderful book town then. There were lots of independent bookstores around, as well as the big chains like Borders and Barnes & Noble.

One of the local independent chains was Mills Bookstores (chain? well, there were three of them), so I reached out to them, and they very kindly offered me a signing at their flagship store in Hillsboro Village. I met a fellow there—Michael Sims—who had moved to Nashville a few years earlier and would later go on to a spectacular writing career himself. He and I have been friends ever since.

Even then, publishers didn’t put a whole lot of marketing or promotion into most debut novels. So I took it upon myself to publicize and promote my first book signing. I worked up a database of a couple hundred of my closest friends and family, then merged the database with a Word document and sent out personalized letters inviting them to my very first book signing, which took place on a warm Sunday afternoon.

And it was astonishingly successful. In an incredible leap of faith, Mills had ordered around 130 copies of a book no one had ever heard of, by a writer no one had ever heard of. The store was packed, the event went on for—if memory serves me—at least three hours. I spoke for a bit, read an excerpt from the book, then signed literally every copy in the store. By the end of the afternoon, Michael was pulling display copies out of the front window to sell.

At the end of the day, I thought I got this…

Now, over thirty years later, I still haven’t had a book signing that successful. Most of my book signings have been like one I did with Sharyn McCrumb at a Little Professor Bookstore in Birmingham, where someone walked up to our signing table (and right up to it, since there was no line) and asked if I knew what the lunch special was today.

Book signings were events back then. They still are for some writers, if you’re a star. Stephen King can draw a crowd wherever he goes. If you’re a genre writer and have developed a huge following in your field, then you’re good to go. Celebrity book signings still work, and locally famous true crime books or other spectacle-type gigs still work.

But if you’re just a working stiff writer, on a self-financed book tour in a town where nobody knows you (yep, I’ve done plenty of those), book signings aren’t worth what they used to be. There aren’t as many bookstores today, so your options are more limited. The two great independent chains that were in Nashville back in the day—Mills Bookstores and Davis-Kidd Booksellers—are long gone. As a result, writers sometimes have to compete for limited signing slots at the few bookstores left. One bookstore I know has an application on their website you fill out if you want to sign at their store, and I know a number of writers they’ve turned down. And some independent bookstores, when they schedule a signing for a well-known author, actually charge admission to people who want to go hear their favorite writer drone on.

If you’re an indie-pubbed writer, then it’s even more disheartening. Bookstores, like everyone else, still have some old-school, ingrained prejudices against “self-published” writers (see last months column).

Even David Gaughran, an Irish writer who’s been a pioneer and an expert in the indie pubbing movement, wrote in his latest blog that getting out there to press the flesh—book readings and book fairs—are “F Tier” marketing strategies for authors today.

“F Tier” means a waste of money and time.

The days when books were primarily hand-sold, person-to-person in brick-and-mortar bookstores are long gone. You might sell a few books here and there, but it’s not going to move the needle on your actual numbers or your Amazon Sales Rank—and sad to say, that’s what counts these days.

So if you want to do a book signing, then do it for the right reasons: you want to hang with friends, family, fans and fellow book lovers for a pleasant afternoon or evening. Have a good time, boost your ego, have a glass of wine.

Then get up the next morning and go back to work. That paper’s not gonna sling itself.